A Post of Funnies

No matter how frustrating IF ever becomes, Ben and I will never reach this point, despite the hilarity of this newspaper clipping. (Click on the image if it is too small for you to read.)








There are a small percentage of you who will appreciate this video, esp those of you who are prior Knotties and have moved on to be Nesties. It's funny because it's so, so true.

Enjoy.

The date has been set...

April 10 @ 9am we meet with our Reproductive Endocrinologist! I am oddly excited. I know this is a step in the right direction for us and puts us one step closer to our goal-getting pregnant and staying pregnant! I think that is a pretty fair goal to have. Here is an article about the RE I will be seeing- so far, everything I have read has been great!

And it couldn't come at a better time. My charts have looked like crap for the past two cycles, showing little temp shifts and lots of -OPK's. I'm ready for answers and progress.

As far as the Metformin goes, I'm still doing well on it. I've been ridiculously tired this week but I am not sure if that is my medicine or if it is some sort of bug. I've been told to take it easy when I can and sleep when I feel like I need it as my body is still adjusting to the Metformin.


Hugs&Kisses

Fun with Metformin

Let it be known, one bite of a Snickers Ice Cream bar can be near fatal while taking Metformin.


One. Bite.

Other than that though, things have been peachy since I've been on it.


Good-bye, ice cream. You have been good for my soul. My hips...not so much (blame the PCOS, right?).



Have a great Monday!
Hugs&Kisses

Metformin-The First 24 Hours

So my first 24 hours on Metformin has not been bad at all.

Give me a moment to thank God for small blessings.

I have heard horror stories and was almost scared to take it, but I have been on it for 24 hours now and am doing great. My Dr said not to be surprised if I started feeling more "normal" very quickly. Goodness knows how long my body wasn't processing insulin the way it is supposed to.

I have not been starving all day (I am a notorious grazer, snacking all day, never eating a meal), I have had no cravings, I feel like I have slept better than I have in years, I have more energy than I have in a long time. Honestly, it just feels good.

AND-I got on the WiiFit like I have been every night for the past 3 nights. I swore I would use it every day if I got it. I used it ONCE. The next time I got on it (Wednesday), the WiiFit guy told me it had been 140 days since I had been on it.

Ooopsie.

So from Wednesday to Thursday I lost no weight. Not a big shocker. It was just one day.

I get on tonight and am down 4.2 pounds.

Don't get ahead of me, I know weight fluctuates, but I am really trying to be consistent, weighing in every night at the same time, at least 3 hours after my last meal. But still, it felt good to get a compliment from the WiiFit guy who lives in my Balance Board.

I'll keep you posted on how the Metformin saga goes.

Hugs&Kisses

Super Quick Update

We met with my new OB again today. She told me I had PCOS, which is what the nurse told me last week over the phone. For some reason, it hurt more coming from the Dr.

I cried a little.

She was, as she always is, SO, SO, SO nice. She reassured me 398743 times she will help get me pregnant. She also started me on Metformin to help with my PCOS and gave us a referral to a new Reproductive Endocrinologist (basically a fertility specialist).

Day 1 on the Metformin hasn't been bad. I am more nauseated and have noticed a definite loss of appetite, but overall not too bad.

So if you are looking for an OB in the Charleston area, Dr. Kessler is AMAZING. She really has taken my concerns to heart and is being so proactive and supportive. She takes her time and LISTENS to her patients. Had I stayed with my old OB (who is still a nice person) I would not have even started testing until October and who knows where we would be then.


Hugs&Kisses

6 Months

Dear Buddha,
You have been gone for six months now. It seems like both yesterday and an eternity all at the same time. Your dad and I still miss you, but have gained so much understanding and acceptance in the mean time.
We love you so very much and are, as always, so proud to call you ours.

Love,
Momma

Ignorance is Bliss?

All of the following comments have been made either in this post or on TrueMomConfessions

• Did anyone get pregnant by accident? It just seems like everyone is trying SO HARD to conceive. Is it really that hard? My sister in law got pregnant by accident and it makes me wonder how that is possible?
• When you are ttc, it seems like EVERYONE else can just think about getting pregnant and poof then they are. Then when you are actually pregnant you stop the pity party, open your eyes and realize that it was just a perception. I was totally that bitter ttc woman. Hopefully I know better now.

• We got pregnant on our first try, 1st month BC. While we were planning on a baby, we were just going to take our time and see what happens. Fertility issues aside, some people just try too hard I think and then the stress just makes everything worse.

• Infertility is God's method of population control.

• I had such an easy time getting pregnant every time. Secretly, whenever I hear of someone having infertility problems, a small part of me actually feels superior because my body works so well. Whenever someone I know with fertility problems gets a negative test, I think "haha". It's to the point with some people that I feel let down when they actually do get pregnant, like a game I was playing in my head just ended.

• Count your blessings. Motherhood is not all that it is cut out to be...

• I think that infertility is going up because of Mother Nature. There are already too many people and everyone is living much longer. Sooner or later we are going to use up the world's resources. I also don't understand why people have more than 1 or 2 children. Really what's the point?

And some of the replies from us infertiles:

• Yes, because trying too hard was exactly what caused our infertility.

• Seriously?! Trying to hard did not cause our MFI.

• I got pregnant with DS while on birth control. He was a complete surprise. It then took us 18 months, a miscarriage, and fertility medicine to conceive this child.

  There is no way to "know" if it will be easy for you or not. Those of you who got pregnant "without even trying" should be aware that it might not always be that way.

  A little sensitivity to people who have been trying for a long ass time could be in order.

• You know, it's this perception that makes the struggle with IF 10x harder. It's completely ignorant and frankly makes you sound like a smug _asshole.

  You got lucky. Don't think for a second you have any idea what you are talking about.

• I don't think people should comment on others choice to undergo fertility treatments until they have the big, red, ugly INFERTILE stamp across the top of their chart at the OBGYN's office. You don't know what you would do in that situation so don't judge me for the decisions my husband and I make.

• For all the women who think that infertile couples shouldn't attempt fertility drugs or treatments, probably have biological children. Saying that it is just meant to be that way and they shouldn't seek treatment for it, would be like saying that someone with heart disease shouldn't take heart medication.

• I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. I wish more people understood how hard it is.

My personal favorite reply:

• I find the "is it really that hard to get pregnant?" question offensive. People that have never walked the road of infertility have no freaking clue how life changing one little checked box can be. To see "infertility" marked as your diagnosis is heartbreaking. Living your life in two week increments sucks as$.

  People that get pregnant on their first month off of BC have no idea how a woman dealing with infertility uterus aches when she sees a mommy share a special moment with her little one. You don't know what it's like to dodge the dreaded question of "When are you going to start your family?"

  People that say "just relax and you'll get pregnant" deserve to be throat punched. Relaxing isn't going to make a mans sperm more mobile, isn't going to create more sperm, isn't going to unblock someones tubes, and isn't going to force a woman to ovulate.

  80% of couples get pregnant in their first year trying, but people need to have some compassion and cuth when it comes to dealing with those of us that weren't/aren't so lucky.

Let me go on record and make it clear- us infertiles aren't angry people that stomp around the baby section at Target kicking pregnant girls. Some of the responses above are a little harsh, but some of the original statements cut straight through to the heart. We are couples that live normal lives, have normal jobs and put our pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. We don't expect people to walk on egg shells around us like we are ticking time bombs. Infertility is a part of who we are, just as our nationality, religion and choices fine (read: cheap) wines are.

We, however, don't need the added judgment from the peanut gallery. Ask us questions, but do it with compassion and a genuine interest. Don't exclude us from your baby shower- you are passing on a really awesome gift! Don't talk about us with everyone but us. Word travels. As I have said a million times, don't judge the decisions we make regarding our process to have a child.

We will all choose different paths. Some will choose to do nothing. They will either adopt or live their lives together without children. That doesn't mean they wanted a baby any less than anyone else. Others will choose fertility drugs or IUI or hormone therapy or IVF. Those are their choices to make. As long as they are thought through, well educated decisions, don't add your .02, okay? The decisions are hard enough to make without harsh (and usually unwanted) commentary from outside parties.

As for Ben and I and the path we will choose, we don't know yet. We don't know when we will know. We have always talked about adoption, even before our IF Dx, so that may be the route we take. We also have such a desire for a biological child and are thankful there are medical interventions available now that may help us get there. Hell, God seems to have a sense of humor, maybe we will get pregnant the old fashioned way again. Bow chicka wow wow.

So, that's all I really have to say about that.

ALSO- If you like a good, positive Christian message without all the hell, fire and brimstone nonsense, see if Joel Osteen is on one of your TV networks on Sunday night. I have been watching him on and off since.....I lived in Holderby Hall at Marshall U, so for awhile now and he always seems to be preaching directly to me. It's not a preachy-preachy message, but one of hope and promise. I really enjoy it! He doesn't ask you to be the straight and narrow Christian who never falls off the wagon, but weekly he asks you to be the best person you can be, accepting your faults and learning from your mistakes. Let me know if you watch him, like him/dislike him, want to punch him, like daisy's or still play hopscotch.

The seeds you sow will create the harvest you need.

Nothing makes me feel better....

than to look at my report from the radiologist who read my u/s from last week and see

INFERTILE

stamped across the top. Man, that will lift your spirits.

(I hope you can read that through all the sarcasm)


And in other news, my younger brother has gotten his ex-girlfriend pregnant. How awesome is that! I won't mention that neither one of them has a college degree, or is even close to obtaining one, they can not financially afford to keep themselves afloat, much less an infant, neither one of them makes more than $7 an hour, neither one of them has a car or the fact that they are in an verbally, emotionally and physically (on her part, my brother has never laid a hand on her) abusive relationship. Oh wait. I said I wouldn't mention that. Owell, I lie sometimes.
According to my calculations, she is ~11 weeks or so. There is a small majority of us who think she is making it all up (me included). I dare her to cry miscarriage. At this point she would require a D&C/D&E. I know some college girls think it is cute to claim pregnancy and then have a "miscarriage" later on, just to add a little drama and spice to their life, but I don't think that is cute or funny. Miscarriages are nothing to be taken lightly and, speaking from personal experience, are something no one should ever want to pretend to go through.

So, as you can assume, I did not take the news well. Why would I? This is a total slap in the face to our family. Totally, 100% unacceptable to have a baby with someone you are not married to. The rules were crystal clear.

-Don't call us from jail.
-Don't get pregnant/get someone else pregnant if you aren't married to them.
-Remember who you belong to.

Two of us had no problem with those rules. One of us seems to have an issue with comprehension.

So I was also called bitter and jealous.

You're damn right. You win.

We have a nice house, nice cars, no debt, college degrees, full time jobs, money in savings, etc, yet we are dealing with infertility. So I am allowed to be bitter and jealous for 10 minutes. I am allowed to be mad for 10 minutes. I am allowed the time to process everything and be royally pissed off. Sorry you don't feel that I am owed that.


But now, almost a week after the bomb was dropped, our family is still divided and the two people who are responsible for this shit storm (my brother and the psycho) are sitting back watching us take sides.

Here's my side.

I am thankful I am not in their situation. I am thankful that we will never have to be ashamed to tell our parents we are expecting. I am thankful that a baby will not be something we will need to be ashamed of. I am thankful we will be able to provide for our child, emotionally, physically and financially together. I am thankful I will never have to worry about the other parent stripping my rights away to see my child, yet still be stuck paying child support. I am thankful that the day our child is born will be a happy one. I am thankful that I am on this side of the drama.

Best of luck to both of them. I wish them nothing but the best. I hope they know how hard this is going to be in and on every aspect of their lives, but it has the potential to also be one of the best times. It's time to grow up now. The days of going to bars and parties are over. Going out to dinner and the movies (if you can afford it) will be few and far between and will require a babysitter. They have made a very grown up bed. Now it's time to lie in it.


Hugs&Kisses


(PS-If there are any rude, judgmental comments left on this entry, I will shut them all down.)

Good News!

While I was browsing the web today looking for more info on PCOS, I stumbled across this gem:

Fertility Authority

Where I found this:

Some states mandate that providers cover infertility treatments while others mandate that providers “offer” coverage (e.g. letting customers know coverage options available to them, but not requiring them to cover it). Currently, the following states require insurance coverage for infertility treatment: Arkansas, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island, and West Virginia, while Texas and California laws mandate that insurance plans “offer” coverage.


Um, hello. AWESOME!

We won't know what our plan of action is until this coming Thursday, but knowing that we have to have some sort of IF coverage is such a blessing.

There are many pluses to living in WV, this is a major one!


Hugs&Kisses

The results are in.

I have PCOS.




I honestly don't know what to do. I know we can treat this and this is not the end of the world, but it still was like a punch to the throat to hear that come out of the nurses mouth this morning.


Next appt: 3/26 to discuss our plan on action.




(On a side note: THANK GOD I changed Dr's! We would have been TTC in vain until October had we stayed with him!)

To be clear...

If you are not trying to prevent pregnancy, then you are actively trying to conceive.




Make that a permanent entry in the record books.



::bangs gavel::

Infertility Sucks.

That is about as clear and as blunt as I can say it.



This will be the very fast version of what our week has been like. I promise I'll come back and update it more thoroughly by the weekend. It is a lot for us to process and think over, so I want to let it all seep through me before I really post anything.

**Disclaimer**
Please respect this as our personal information. Don't talk about it with other people or use it as a source of gossip. That's just rude and pretty heartless. I know most of you won't do this, but if I do hear of it, then I will have to move this over to a private blog. That really is a pain in the ass to do, so please, be decent and respect my request.

Monday
-Meet with the new OB
-LOVE her
-Get orders for about 9384938 rounds of blood work, including a full IF (which stands for infertility, remember that as I will now only be posting IF) work up and a 3 hour glucose test and orders for Ben to get tested as well
-Go over what our plan of action will be for various scenarios
-We leave happy

Tuesday
-Get to the hospital
-Register
-Cry as we wait because this whole thing is overtaking me emotionally
-Cry as they draw my blood
-Drink the GOD awful glucose drink-
-Gag
-Gag
-Gag
-Wait an hour
-Have my blood drawn
-Wait an hour
-Have my blood drawn again
-Wait one more hour
-Have my blood drawn again
-Go for one last test (which was brutal)
-Leave for the Imaging Center for my US
-Almost pee all over the US tech because my bladder had to be full
-Have my abdominal US, my ovaries look okay, not great, but not awful
-Have my trans vag US (now referred to as the Dildo Cam), again, ovaries don't look great, but not awful either
-FINALLY GO HOME!


There is a lot more to it than that, but I don't even know where to start so I am saving it for another day.

Also, please, please, please don't question my doctors. I had two "friends" do this today and it really pissed me off. Both of them got pregnant on the first try and think you can get pregnant if you "just relax" (IF girls, feel free to punch these two for me). It is a lot of blood work and a lot of testing, but it has to be done. I do not want to go on harsh fertility hormones and drugs if they can be avoided so we are taking a few extra steps. Again, please respect this.

And in other news, Ben and I are doing great. Contrary to popular belief, we are not moping around feeling sorry for ourselves. We are going on about our lives. We have so, so many things to praise God about right now. We are both in secure jobs, my graduation date is coming up, we are growing stronger as a couple every day and are still enjoying our time together doing things we won't be able to do without a baby sitter some day. Please continue to keep us in your prayers, but we don't need to be at the top of the list. There are many people hurting so much more than we are.

Hugs&Kisses

You gotta fight. For your right. To Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaartaaaaaay!

It is no secret that I am graduating this semester. I shout it from every roof top possible. I have busted my ass for the past seven (!) years to get where I am and I feel like I have the right to be really proud right now.

So, having said that, Marshall U likes to charge insane amounts for their students to participate in graduation ceremonies. By the time you add up cap and gown and graduation fees and all the other nonsense they make you pay for, you could purchase a small island. While discussing this with my dad, we agreed that a family get together at my grandparents house would be more fun and half the cost-and in the hard economic times, who isn't looking to save a buck?

Not to mention that is also the weekend following my birthday AND my last.final.exam.ever.(May 4). If you know me, you know how much I love my birthday. I get excited just thinking about it. I even celebrate my half birthday (which falls on November 4-send me a card).

And to add to the reasons for celebration, this gathering is also the weekend of our due date (May 7) with Buddha. I have been dreading this day since September 22 and know that it has the potential to be a not so fun day. I really want this to be a time of celebration and positivity and overall good feelings. I want to celebrate our baby and the life that he is living in Heaven. The larger part of me is looking forward to May 7 though. It will be closure. No more pregnancy milestones to miss out on, no more woulda-coulda's. Closure. There won't be any big "this should have been our due date" announcement, but it will linger in the back of our minds (Ben and I), so the more laughs and good times we can pack around this day, the better.


SO- if you are a member of our family, mark May 9, 2009 (it's a Saturday) down on your calendar. If you came to our wedding, you know we love to party, so expect something similar. If you were not lucky enough to attend our wedding and throw down, hold on to your hats. This is going to be an even that you don't want to miss.


Can't wait to see you all!

Hugs and Kisses


PS- If you are not a member of my family and want to be invited, EMAIL ME (the addy is right over----->)! Much love!

A Pair of Shoes

I have had several friends miscarry recently. It is so heart breaking. When they grieve, I grieve for them and grieve for myself all over again. It is so, so unfair and there is nothing I can say to fix it for them. Pregnancy/infant loss sucks and should be banned forever-wouldn't that be nice?

So anyway, here is a poem I got from a friend of mine and it really is so true and really put how I have felt, especially recently, into words.


A Pair of Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
--Author unknown




I hope this helps those of you who are going through your darkest days. I really do mean it when I say it gets better and you will start to heal. I know you are in the worst of it right now, but it gets easier. Take your time in getting back to whatever normal will now be for you and your husband and don't allow others to tell you how you should feel right now. That was my biggest mistake and I wish I hadn't allowed those people to have control over me like that.

If you haven't been through pregnancy/infant loss, I hope this offers yet another insight into what so many people are living each day. I don't post things like this for sympathy or because I sit and mourn over our loss daily but because I want to educate people. This is such a taboo subject in our society despite being how common it is and it really shouldn't be.

So there you have it. My uplifting and inspiring post for the day. I really have so much more to say tonight but with it being after 1 AM and I have to get at least three hours of sleep before I chart in the morning AND I have to chart at 6 AM due to my weekday schedule, I really need to head to bed.


Hugs and Kisses to all.

Better late than never....

I promised an update over the weekend and didn't deliver. I'm a terrible person. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

So, here I sit, watching American Idol on the DVR and catching up with all my online what-nots that have been neglected lately.

Ben and I are still doing well. We are enjoying the Spring like weather and each other. There have been several times lately that we have not been able to stop laughing. I feel like we are connecting with each other on different levels every day.

I am really appreciating this time that we have to ourselves to be silly and irresponsible (within limits) and just having fun. I know this time is irreplaceable and I am doing much better as seeing this time as a blessing as opposed to a sad time that should be filled with baby showers and last minute baby preparations. As our original due date gets closer and closer, it stings just a little more on certain days but the sadness is much less than it used to be. The long prayed for acceptance I have been begging God for is starting to pour in and I can say this is the most comfortable I have ever been with our loss.

School is school. I have never been more happy that this is my FINAL semester. I can not take much more. I don't even enjoy it anymore. It's old. The professors (aside from one, who I am really enjoying this semester) really could not care less about you as a student. I called in sick to clinicals one day because...I don't know...I was barfing my guts up and caught shit for it. Um. Hello! I work with small children with underdeveloped immune systems people. WHY would I go into a child care center if I am sick? Really. And my best friend in the program (Hi, Meaghan!) was told today she isn't smart enough to teach Preschool and was accused of not showing up to her clinicals, even though she has proof that she was there. Get it together, Marshall. When I was given the exit survey for graduating students, I really gave it to them.

Clearly I had nothing specific to write about today. Well, I take that back, I have plenty to write about, but I am saving it until it all processes through my mind (which has a tendancy to take a while). There is a lot that really weighs on my mind, but I am really careful to not write entries when emotions are still running so strongly through my veins. Without laying it all out on the table and saying things I may regret later or that may hurt someone now, all I am going to say is I am really dissapointed in the way some family has been over the past few months. I am not going to say which side is so dissapointing because that would be juvenile and childish, but these pepole know who they are and I highly doubt they care. They have really made me question myself, my faith and everything I stand for and believe in. I know I don't need people like that in my life but they are family. I can't just not see them or talk to them. I know there is going to come a day when I have to see them, there is no avoiding it. I also know that I am not so good at holding my tongue. If you strike at me, I tend to strike back twice as hard and not sensor what comes out of my mouth. What pisses me off about this whole situation is this is supposed to be family! I am not supposed to have to deal with this! I should not have to feel ashamed of our loss or our infertility issues. I should not feel like I have to sensor what I say on public social sites so people won't judge the hardships we are facing. It's so assinine I can barely comprehend it. And that is all I am going to say about that.

Now, having said that, our infertility consult (or our fertility consult as I am calling it-I think it sounds less negative that way) is this coming up, this Monday, the 16th. I am really feeling the stress of the whole situation right now so if you would keep us in your prayers or thoughts in the upcoming days we would both really appreciate it. We know God has a plan for us and our future children and in the end this is going to be so, so worth all the hard times and the tears. I am very, very optimistic that we will hear good news and they will have a plan of action for us relatively soon.


Hugs and Kisses

PS-Let me know if there is anything I can pray for YOU about!

Reason # 8938439 NOT to steal

We had a bean bag chair in the den that the dogs loved to lay on (It was insanely ugly but the dogs loved it! What was I supposed to do? I had to let them keep it!). Well. Marley got pissed (literally) at Ben and when he left the room, Marley peed all over it. Revenge is sweet in his world.

Anyway, we have these pesky neighboorhood children that can't seem to keep their little punk bodies off our lawn. They always let their dog take a dump by our mailbox and I have reason to believe that they stole one of our front walk lamps (they are really cute! I don't blame them for stealing one, but it was wrong none the less). They get on my ever loving nerves and I wish their parents paid attention to half of what their children were up to so I wouldn't have to put up with the little punks.

So we tossed it (the bean bag) out the back door beside the trash cans and planned on throwing it out when the garbage service comes by on Friday. The bean bag is long forgotten.

We leave for the mall and return hours later to see our precious urine filled bean bag being swung around the ring leaders lead like he is a warrior from Braveheart, then throwing it at his minion friends. They were playing DODGE BALL with our URINE SOAKED CHAIR.

Normally, I would have been pissed before since they stole and stealing is wrong (right, mom?), BUT the fact that they were hitting each other with a giant black bean bag chair soaked the entire way through with dog urine was enough justice in my book.


Let me tell you- I had quite the hearty laugh after seeing that.


HAPPY MONDAY!

Getting to know youuuuu....

(I wonder if anyone else knows that song?)


So I promised another blog entry, knowing I wouldn't have time to complete one, so this survey will just have to hold you over until I can spill all my secrets (possibly) tomorrow.

ABC's


A
- Available: Only to the husband
- Age: coming up on the quarter century mark!
- Annoyance: IF
- Animal: Boxers (and one crazy English Bulldog)

B
- Beer: 4th of July
- Birthday: 5.4
- Best Friend: Ben
- Body Part on opposite sex: eyes
- Best feeling in the world: BFP
- Best weather: Spring weather
- Been on stage?: Many times
- Believe in Magic: Illusions, yes. Magic, no.
- Believe in Santa: Not recently
- Blind or deaf: deaf, since I already know ASL
C
- Candy: Gummy Bears!
- Color: Green
- Chocolate or Vanilla: Neither is really a stand out favorite.
- Chinese or Mexican Food: I will never reach a decision!
- Cake or pie: Cookies!
- Continent to visit: Europe
- Cheese: backs up the plumbing.
D
Day or Night: Both, they each have their perks.
Dancing in the rain: Only if it's warm out

E
- Eyes: Dark, Dark Brown. Verging on black.
- Everyone's got: a water buffalo
- Ever failed a class?: One (oops! I forgot what the drop date was!)

F
- First thoughts waking up: Mother Father Sister Brother. (lol)
- Food: sounds terrible right now.
- Full name: Cate (You should know I never put my full name on the interwebz)
- Flaws: Impatient

G
- Greatest Fear: Never getting pregnant again
- Goals: Met almost all of them and I'm only 24
- Gum: Makes my jaw hurt after a while
- Get along with your parents? Very much so
- Good Luck Charm: preparation

H
- Hair Color: Auburn
- Height: 5'5
- Happy: Often
- Holiday: My Birthday!
- How do you want to die: Old
I
- Ice Cream: Moose Tracks
- Instrument: Tuba (Hi, Brigid!)

J
- Jewelry: Eng Ring/Wedding Band
- Job: Early Intervention Developmental Specialist

K
- Kids: Angel Baby
- Kickboxing or karate: Kickbox
- Keep a journal? Very public blog

L
- Letter L for: lemur
- Laugh so hard you cried: Often

M
- Milk flavor: Chocolate
- Movies: netflix.
- Motion sickness? Only when mom drives :)
- McD’s or BK: Wendy's

N
- Number: 7

O
- One wish: A baby

P
- Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke from McDonald's
- Perfect Pizza: cooked
- Piercing: 2 holes in each ear only.

Q
- Quail: Dan
- Quiet?: rarely

R
- Reason to cry: Frustration, loss, IF
- Reality T.V.: Some, not most.
- Roll your tongue in a circle: It's one of my many talents
- Ring size: 7 or 8...No idea haha.
- Radio station: Sirius

S
- Song: Banana Phone
- Shoe Size: 8
- Salad Dressing: ranch
- Sushi: Made me gag all over the dinner table at Hibachi
- Skinny dipped?: No comment (maybe I did, maybe I didn't....the world will never know)
- Strawberries or blueberries?: strawberries
- Slept outside: Only when camping
- Sing well: In the car.

T
- Tattoos?: Two, more to come
- Time for bed: always after midnight, unfortunately

U
- Unpredictable: Def not! Every minute of my day is planned.

V
- Vacation spot(s): Anywhere!

W
- Weakness: funny one-liners. Ben knows if I am mad at him, a one liner will get me laughing.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: Christopher
- Worst feeling: Frustration
- Wanted to be a model? Never
- Worst Weather?: Bitter cold
- Where do we go when we die? Heaven (At least I know I will)
X
- X-Rays: The husband does them
- Ex's: live in TX (get it?)

Y
-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: Submarine

Z

-Zzzzz's: I never get enough!
-Zoo animal: Elephant. Hands down

-The last person that you fell asleep next to: Ben
-You went to the mall with: Ben and the MIL
-Went to dinner with: My dad and Elliott (the younger brother)
-Talked to on the phone: Marci
-Made you laugh: Benjamin
-Hugged you: Benjamin
-Held your hand: Benjamin





Hugs and Kisses!

I'm still here.

Barely.


This final semester is reminding me why this will be my last for a long, LONG time. I don't even have time to breathe, and my writing has suffered greatly for this.

So, a ten second catch up post.

-I am not pregnant. Our last cycle failed. We agreed if it failed we would call for blood work from my prior doctor. We did, they denied us, so we are on to a second opinion.

-My second opinion (with a Dr who specializes in IF issues) is March 16. I am strangely excited to flash my girly parts to yet another stranger. If it brings us answers, I would flash the President himself.

-I got all my commencement papers in the mail today. HOLY CRAP. I am a college graduate. YAY.

-Ben and I are doing so great lately. We have really worked hard to not let all the let downs that have come along with TTC get us down and so far, we really have been great for each other. I can't imagine a better person to go through this trying journey with.


And that's all I have time for. I promise, promise to update with (probably several) entries this weekend.

Hugs and Kisses :)