Number One Sign You Are Too Tired To Put Together An Exersaucer...

There is a recall out for our exersaucer, so I decided (at 8:30 at night after a long day) to open ours and see if it was one of with the serial number being recalled (it wasn't-Thank God! It was the model before ours). So...since it was open, I decided I'd build it. It can't be that hard, right?

Wrong.

First, I couldn't get the seat to snap in correctly. After much tugging and pulling, I get the cloth seat snapped into it's position.

Then, I couldn't get the legs to snap on. They are plastic freaking legs. It should not be that hard. So I pushed and shoved and twisted those damn legs ever which way you can think but they would not snap in. Eventually, I got one to snap in. With my finger still between each piece of plastic. Um. Ow. Ow actually isn't the word. It's much harsher. I pulled the pieces apart, threw them across the room and just burst into tears. It was not until then that it occurred to me that I just might be too tired and hormonal to put together an exersaucer (that she won't even need for another 6 months) tonight. But I get on these tangents where I think things have to be done that very minute. Ben heard the commotion and came to Abbey's room where I was "working" to find me in my undies, a tank top, surrounded by pink and green pieces of plastic sobbing. God love him for not laughing. All he said was "I think you are too tired to do this tonight. Why don't you go ahead to bed."

So here I am. In bed. Nursing my poor finger and my ego while he works on her exersaucer in the next room.

Let this be a lesson to you all. When you know you are too tired to do something, don't even attempt it.


In other news, Abbey is doing great! She's been a maniac today. On my way home, I stopped by Dairy Queen to pick up a milkshake. I ordered a small and the girls behind the counter asked if it was for me or the baby. I quickly said it was kind of for both of us since we both need to add a few pounds over the next two weeks. They laughed and asked a few more questions before one of the girls returned with a LARGE shake. They said to consider it for the baby, refused to let me pay the difference and sent me on my way. Very sweet! But- have you ever seen a LARGE shake from DQ? It's like a freakin 10 gallon drum! Who honestly needs that much? It was one of those cups you almost have to hold with both hands, lol. Out of sheer curiosity I had to look up the nutrition info when I got home. Are you sitting down? 1130 Calories. ELEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTY CALORIES. Holy Lord. Seriously. I drank it down (poor me, right?) but promptly barfed about 1/2 of it back up. So there goes those calories. I didn't barf it up because of an pregnancy related nausea. I barfed it up because that is an obscene amount of calories to take in and 20 minutes and my body said "Heeeeeeeeeck no", haha! I barfed it up because NO ONE should drink an 1100 calorie milkshake.

So another lesson learned there. Always (politely) turn down milkshake upgrades. Or have some self control and don't drink the entire thing.

28w4d

28 Week Appt.

It wasn't great news, but it wasn't terrible. I'll start from the beginning.

So the three pounds I had gained (overall)...pretty much gone. I lost 2 pounds. So we are at one pound total for weight gain. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't skinny pre-pregnancy, but I still should have gained more than 1 pound by now. I'm losing weight which is keeping Abbey from gaining appropriately. Which leads to the next issue.

Abbey is pretty small. Her belly is only measuring in the 12% and overall she is in the 32% for babies at her gestational age. Her head, limbs, organs, fluid levels, cord and placenta all look good right now, she just is a little behind, growth wise.

So now the plan is for me to increase my caloric intake and gain some pounds. Every one keeps saying "Load up on ice cream and Chinese!". Uh, yea, that sounds fun, but (1) I don't feel like eating 99% of the time and when I do, it's never much and (2) I want to gain the weight in a healthy way, not by loading up on junk. I'm loading up on complex carbs and protein in an effort to gain weight but to it in a healthy manner.

AND It sounds like I'm having a C-section. O_O

My ovaries are apparently a real mess. My right one, anyway. From the US yesterday she can tell is it practically ruined and would rather me not have it. Apparently "diseased" ovaries are more likely to develop cancerous places on them and what not, so I'm likely better off without it. Lefty is doing ok and is the ovary we triggered from for Abbey, so I guess the right is a dud anyway.

And if Abbey stays small, she would rather deliver her by csec. Smaller babies sometimes don't do as well with vaginal deliveries and a csec i usually less stressful on them.

She said ultimately the decision is mine, but I really trust her and her partner with my care 100%. If they feel this is best for Abbey, I believe them.

Also, they are going to monitor Abbey every 10-14 days to check her growth and monitor my weight gain. If at 37 weeks she is still tiny, they will do an amnio and go ahead and deliver her. IUGR is one of her concerns and she said those babies tend to do better on the outside than in. Babies with IUGR sometimes have genetic issues or have drug addicted mothers and since neither is the case with our Abbey, lack of maternal weight gain is our only answer. She has not been diagnosed with IUGR at this point and we are really hoping to avoid it which makes it even more important for me to pack on some pounds.

This all makes me really sad. I'm a mess. I feel like a total eff up. I can't get pregnant on my own. Now I can't even provide well enough for her on the inside. How am I going to be a good mom when she is on the outside if I can't provide for her now.

But right now I really don't have time for a pity party. All my energy is being focused towards her and making her grow big and strong. Our goal is full term, but ultimately we know God is in control and will watch over us and take care of Abbey.

We really appreciate any prayers you can spare. We want a full term, healthy little girl and I really believe prayers can get us there.

28w3d

Sweet!

Thanks to PCOS, I got the privilege of taking the one hour glucose challenge TWICE.

YAY.

Not really...But whatever I have to do to keep me and Abigail healthy, right? I passed the first one a few weeks ago with a score of 114 (way below the failing mark). I hoped that since I had passed the first one by such a large margin they wouldn't make me take the second one. No dice. So I took it again Friday morning and passed with a 110 this time! Even better! So no more glucose tests for me!

My blood pressure looked awesome (124/79) too, so it was a great day!

And today? I washed sheets, cleaned the master bathroom and bedroom, folded (more of) Abbey's clothes (seriously running out of room!), Windex-ed all the mirrors and shot this awesome video. Please admire my lovely belly, lol. No stretch marks yet, but I am getting bigger by the day so I can only assume they are going to strike soon. Ben and I watched her move and dance around for almost an hour but as soon as we got out the camera out she settled in and got comfy. Stubborn girl. I have no idea who she gets her attitude from! Honest!

Other than that, we are all doing great! We reached the 28 week mark today which is both awesome, exciting and scary all at the same time. Just the thought that we could have a baby in ten weeks is mind numbing to me (and Ben!). I've been dealing with some bittersweet feelings regarding this pregnancy and all the fun milestones we are hitting and the fact that it is all coming to an end soon and the fact that we missed all this with Buddha. It's hard sometimes. I got really overwhelmed Thursday but thankfully Ben was home and just let me cry it out and take a nap. Just as soon as I think the healing process with Buddha is over, all the feelings of sadness and loss rip through me and I feel like part of the healing starts over. I wish we had gotten to experience all of this with Buddha, but I wouldn't trade Abigail for the world. I feel like I am almost forced to choose between the two of them even though it's impossible to do that. A power greater than I can even imagine made the decision for me and I trust that decision with my entire heart, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard sometimes. At the end of the day, I know I have a baby boy who taught me more in 9 weeks than I could have ever hoped to learn in a life time and who I am so insanely proud of and a baby girl who is teaching me how to trust and love again and melts my heart every moment of the day. I am so, so blessed to have them both and I can't thank God enough for allowing me to be their mom.


28Weeks

27 Weeks!

I'm really trying to get back in the swing of blogging but time has not been my friend lately. So here's the 27 Week post and some pics to hold you over!

How far along? 27 Weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: Three pounds total
Maternity clothes? Maternity pants every day and still trying to make my regular shirts work. I am hoping to buy as few maternity shirts as possible!
Sleep: Love it. Love it. Love it. Getting all I can.
Best moment this week: Hitting the third trimester!
Movement: She bounces like crazy and I can't get enough of it. I already know I'll miss this.
Food cravings: Apple juice, apples, applesauce. Anything apple.
Gender: GIRL! GIRL! GIRL!
Labor Signs: No, thank you.
Belly Button in or out? Going, going.....
What I miss: Nothing at the moment...
What I am looking forward to: Our next appt, Dec. 7. I love my OB and can't wait to see her again!
Weekly Wisdom: Make the decisions that are best for you and your family, not ones that will pacify others. How you deliver, feed and raise your child is your business. Don't let others opinions sway you from what you feel will work best for your family. (same)
Milestones: Right now, every day is a milestone. I am more pregnant than I have ever been, so everyday is a huge deal. Our goal is 40 weeks, 37 at the earliest, so every day is one day closer to our goal. (Same as all the other weeks, but still how I feel. I know this has been the same pretty much every week, but it's stiiiiiiiill how I feel)

What is Abbey up to this week?

Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving Abbey a healthy pink glow. She's also soaking up my antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and she will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes.

All that^ stays the same until Week 28, so don't expect another fruit picture for the next few weeks!

And now for Show&Tell :)

26Weeks


27Weeks


Stay tuned for my (late) Thanksgiving post! I promise it's coming!

A Quick Rant...

If one more person says:

"Oh just you wait"

"This is only the beginning"

"You have no idea what you are in for"

"Say good-bye to your old life"

or any other negatively toned comment towards being pregnant/having a baby, I will seriously punch you in the throat. It gets effing old.

We had to years to "just wait". By the time Abbey gets here, it will be 4 months short of THREE years.

This is our new "beginning" and we are very much looking forward to it.

Of course we have no idea what we are in for. We know it will be hard and trying at times, but it will also be much wanted and prayed for.

And as for our "old life"- it was amazing, we had amazing times. But our "new life" is going to be so much more amazing than anything we experienced with just the two of us.

So keep all the negative comments to yourself. If you don't have anything nice to say about being pregnant/having children, save them for the next unhappy person who is willing to share in your misery. Because this optimistic, naive infertile and her husband are much looking forward to everything having a child entails.

26w2d

Baby Shower #1

My first baby shower was last weekend! I still can't believe I just typed that out. The entire time mom and I were down there I honestly couldn't process that we were in Charlotte for my baby shower. When the balloon lady at the grocery store asked if I was having a girl or boy I almost looked around to make sure she was talking to me. I forget I actually look pregnant now. When I was changing my clothes and getting ready for the shower, I almost started crying. I couldn't grasp this was really happening. We've come such a long way in the past year and it's hard to believe now is our time. It's our turn. It's so surreal.

My childhood friend, Carol, was nice enough to offer her house up as a location for the shower. Her house is just about the cutest thing ever and it was so, so generous of her to offer up her time and home to us! My mom, aunt and Ma along with a handful of high school friends attended the shower. We had an awesome table full of food, a table overflowing with gifts for Abigail and hours of great conversation. I am unbelievably thankful for all the gifts and cards and for the time people set aside to come out and celebrate our little one. I know how busy people are these days and it meant the world to me that these ladies set aside a few hours of their time to come out.

All the ladies (minus my mom)

The diaper wreath Carol made! How cute!

The spread! Chick-Fil-A tray, fruit&veggie trays, cookie tray and CAKE! YUM!

The favors-Pink M&M's and pink Starburst candy! The fabric on the top of the jars is the fabric my mom used to make her bedding!

Thanks again to everyone who came out! Abbey scored a ton of stuff off her registry, many necessities, a few out fits, a handmade sweater and tummy time blanket from my mom and a hand made blanket (and a stock pile of diapers) from my Ma. I really need to start on the "Thank You" cards ASAP.

I suppose I should update a few Belly Pics too, huh? I can tell a HUGE difference between Week 21 and Week 25- and I'm only going to get bigger. It's a scary thought!

24 Weeks

25 Weeks


That's all I'm going to update tonight! We hit 26 Weeks tomorrow! Holy Snot! We are so thankful every day for this HUGE blessing and are loving every minute of this pregnancy. We had another great Dr appt this week (more on that tomorrow) and can't thank God enough for getting us this far (relatively) complication free!

25w6d

25 Weeks!

So, I am aware I suck at blogging lately. Between traveling, working and getting things ready for Abbey, I have NO time (not to mention the 4 hour naps that take up my afternoons).

Short Update: Things are going well! Abbey is moving constantly and growing like a weed. I'm sure I had to have gained weight by this point, I have been eating like a mad woman! I'm hungry all the time. Abbey LOVES all fruit and chocolate milk :) I had our first baby shower this week and as soon as I get the pics loaded, I'll post them. The shower was amazing and I can't thank my mom enough for throwing such an awesome party for our Abbey. Everyone who came was so, so generous and really went above and beyond for our little girl. We are so blessed and thankful!

I'll post more later, but right now, my dinner is getting cold and, as usual, I'm STARVING!

25w2d