Monday, December 15, 2008

Ok God

I get it. I'm here. I'm begging for a sign. Something. I have made myself available. What are You trying to teach me?

I should be leaving for my big US right now. Instead, I wake up an hour early, to a huge temp drop and a BFN, just for funsies.

What are You trying to teach me? I am finding it so hard in my heart to not be angry and bitter, but it is getting harder everyday. I need something. You can fix this and right now, I don't know why you aren't.


momqat said...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:2-4
This had become the scripture that I live by. The trials don't make you strong, it's how you manage them that builds your spiritual strength. Pay close attention to the last of the passage. Let patience have its perfect work. Eventually you will lack nothing! God works on His schedule, not ours. Sometimes the answers don't come as fast as we want, sometimes we don't recognize the answers, but they will come.
I love you, little Cupcake, and I;m praying for you and Ben.

Cate said...

If you don't know, ^that's my mom.

She's awesome :)

Blair said...

You know, I prayed the same thing this weekend, over Harpie & other situations in our life. Got on my knees & begged God to be done with whatever "this" is in my life.

And then I realized that I was doing EXACTLY what I tell my friends over & over again -- I am a finite mind trying to understand an infinite God.

You do the math. It's just not going to happen. So we follow in faith, and stay hopeful & patient. It's all we can do.

Love, love, love to you.

Danse said...

I'm so sorry.

Melanie said...

I know what your feeling believe me. My angel baby went to Heaven 8 1/2 months ago. I found a prayer request from The Hoyt Family blog and I want you to know your in my prayers! The best thing to do is fall to His knees and cry your heart out to Him. I know some words that I may say will just seem like jibber-jabber but remember I know how it feels! Im missing my angel baby too!


AmandaHoyt said...

May you feel the peace that only He can give you during this most trying of times, Cate. You are in my prayers daily. I know exactly how you feel and my heart hurts for you.
Hugs and prayers,