Monday, July 27, 2009

Small Milestones and Large Throw Ups...

As of yesterday afternoon, I am officially more pregnant that I have ever been! YAY! We were really struggling to get to the 8w4d mark and we made it! This was a huge milestone for us and are so thankful to be past that point.

Baby is doing well. This morning he/she made me violently ill and I think scared Ben a little. It was the worst throw up session I have had that I can remember. Ever. And (as usual), it incredible urge to purge came while brushing my teeth. I didn't even have time to turn around and hit the toilet, so I barfed in the sink. Ben just stood there horrified, rubbing my back. Poor guy! And to top it all off, every time I would heave, barf would come back and splash me in the face. Awesome. Of course this all happens while I am on my way out the door to go see a kid for work. So what did I do? I rinsed my mouth, re-washed my face, straightened my hair, changed my shirt and went on my way. Because I am a professional and there are kiddo's who depend on me.

But even then, it wasn't that bad. Was it pleasant? Hell no. Was is survivable? Absolutely. Will it be worth it in the end? Without a doubt.

My blood pressure is still great, down another 2 pounds (for a total of 14), but still nothing we are concerned about. I do need a daily nap, but I think everyone does. That really is about it. Ben and I had a relaxing weekend at home. Most of his family was at a wedding and were weren't able to go due to Ben's work schedule, but that's the way things happen sometimes. I hated that we had to miss it, but I am sure we will get to see everyone soon.

As always, I am accepting extra prayers and leave yours in the comment boxes if you have one!



PS- Please throw a prayer for Stellan in tonight and over the coming days. He is doing pretty poorly at the moment and is being airlifted to Boston for further intervention. I'm sure they can use any prayers you can spare.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

This is real!

We met with our OB today and I could not have asked for a better visit. I love, love, love my OB (Dr. Kessler in Charleston, if you are looking for one!). She talked with us for a long time and was almost more excited than we are!

My blood pressure was 117/78 and I'm down another 5 lbs (so 12 overall). My urine test was....well...a urine test, lol! She did a quick pelvic exam and said "You have a very pregnant uterus!" Ben and I couldn't help but laugh.

We also talked about what I want in a delivery, any questions Ben or I had, etc. She was so awesome when I told her I didn't want any plans written in stone. I would LOVE to avoid a C-Section and want to attempt to go med free- both things Ben is very supportive of. We will also not cut the cord until it has stopped pulsing, just so Baby gets all the nutrients from it. We were going to bank his/her cord blood, but the more I researched it, the more I read about delaying cutting the cord being just as beneficial (not to mention cheaper). And if you don't support my initial plans....bite me ;) Like I said, nothing is in stone, everything is flexible, so we will see when the time comes. I may get to L&D and beg for an epi as they wheel me through Admitting, haha! My main goal is to listen to my body and take things as they come. My OB is on the same page as Ben and I are, so that makes me feel even better about being with her.

We also signed our contract and agreed on a payment plan and after doing all that, all I can say is "Thank GOD for great insurance!". I can't imagine doing this without it. We virtually pay nothing. My prenatal visits, delivery, postpartum appts and all my lab work will run us about $100 total. YAY! The fact that my OB is at the hospital Ben works at AND I will deliver there make a HUGE difference and for that we are thankful for. We were planning on spending about $5,000 for this whole thing, so that is a huge break in our budget!

She also gave me a B-6 Rx for my nausea, which hasn't been too bad today so far. I did my routine gagging in the shower, but managed not to vomit! YAY! (It's the little things anymore, lol!)

I go back to see her in 4 weeks, but will have my NT scan before then. And now you are all caught up! We are coming up on the time we lost Buddha last time, so I am a little nervous. I just want to get through the next week, one day at a time. I'd love the extra prayers if you can spare them this week.



Monday, July 20, 2009

Does it ever get old?

Hearing the heartbeat, that is. We had our appt today at my regular OB's office and it was great. Well, the US was. My OB was stuck in deliveries so they rescheduled me for tomorrow morning to see her but I still got to have our US done.

Let me tell you-switching OB's will go down as one of the best decisions Ben and I ever made. We got called back in a reasonable amount of time (less than 5 minutes), were taken to the US Suite (ooo-la-la!) and had the most pleasant, comfortable experience. The exam table was heated and instead of paper was covered with a super soft sheet. When you laid on the table, there was a huge flat panel TV mounted on the wall in front of you. There was a nice cozy chair for Ben to sit in right beside my head and he was able to hold my hand and see everything. They give you another super soft sheet to cover yourself with and then they have at it. The tech we had was so amazing. She knew about our previous loss and showed us the heartbeat right away so I didn't have to lie there and worry. Within seconds, up popped the little flicker and the ::whoosh whoosh whoosh:: came over the speakers. I couldn't help but laugh, which made Baby's heart skip a beat! Then she took some measurements, which are right with what I thought, despite our first 2 US's measuring ahead. Every machine is different, as is the way the Tech measures things. The equipment at my OB's office is brand new, so I am going with her dates. Baby looked awesome and we got TONS of pictures! They rescheduled us for an appt with my OB tomorrow which was fine by me! Just another chance to get to see Baby, right?

Baby @ 7w5d! You can start to see the little leggies and the start of an arm on the upper side. That's their little head over on the left.

Baby again! That's the measure of the heart rate along the bottom, beating strong at 179 BPM today! Ben's thinking GIRL!

The only downside of today's appt was we found out my ovaries are actually joined together by a cyst. Not a huge deal right now, but not ideal either. At this point in time, we are planning on this being my last pg'y (assuming all works out), so I am not worried about it at all. My ovaries are such a mess. But who cares? They served their purpose ;)

Other than that, nothing is really new. My morning sickness has a tendency to last all day. This morning was particularly rough, poor Ben! He is probably tired of hearing me scream from the shower only to walk in and see my barfing all over the place. He's so great. He cleaned everything up today so I could go lay back down before our appt. I honestly don't mind the nausea, but it is exhausting. Peppermints and sleep are my cures right now, but when I go back to work Wednesday, sleep won't be much of an option!

Thank you so much for all your prayers, kind e-mails, thoughts and sweet comments (and keep them coming! They make my day!). As always, leave any prayer requests-or PRAISE's in the comment box!


7w5d (right back where I thought we were!)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Movin On Up.... the OB! YAY! I got released from my RE today and have my first appt with my OB on Monday! I am so excited. I love my new(ish) OB and can't wait to see her again. She listened to me when my prior OB brushed me off, referred me to an RE and now, a few months later, here we are!

So obviously, I had my last appt with our RE today. We got to see AND hear Baby's heartbeat! I cried. The ::whoosh whoosh whoosh:: was such an amazing sound. I laid on the table and just thanked God over and over again for such a blessing. We got to see Buddha's heartbeat, but never got to hear it, so that moment was just so unreal to me. Ben was smiling so hard I thought his face might crack. Baby is still measuring 4 days ahead which moves my due date up to February. We are having a little love bug! I lost 7 pounds from last Tuesday until today, but it didn't seem to concern my RE or his nurse, I just have to make sure I am getting enough protein and water in a day and I'm good. My blood pressure looked awesome (but it always does), so that was also not a concern. I am still on pelvic rest, but that is no biggy. Ben is really helping me so much every day and picking things up where I am not able to. The only "bad" news (if you can call it that) is I am not allowed to go to camp next week. I have gone the last 2 years and really enjoy going, but this year neither one of my Dr's think it is in my best interest or the best interest of Baby to go to camp, so home we will stay.

We are both so over the moon excited right now. I know we still have a long road ahead, but I am starting to let myself enjoy this pregnancy more and more. My symptoms still come and go as they please and that is just fine.

Monday I was in the shower, rinsing my hair, thinking about our trip to Columbus (more to come on that next post) and then, all of a sudden, I barfed all.over.the shower. I yelled for Ben, who ran to the bathroom to find me naked, soaking wet and covered in vomit. So sexy, right? Luckily, the water was still running so we rinsed all the vomit down the drain, I got re-washed and rinsed and then he bleached the shower after I got out.

This morning, it struck again. I was brushing my teeth, thinking about our U/S, wondering what I am going to do this weekend and up comes a familiar feeling. I start dry heaving in the sink (all while crying because it hurt so bad). Poor Ben always just stands there and rubs my back and talks me through it all. I seriously dry heaved for a good 5 minutes before I could catch my breath. But from then on, today has been smooth sailing. I'll take the worst nausea, fatigue, barf sessions-anything, as long as it leads to a healthy baby.

So now you are caught up! Ben and I went to see Elton John and Billy Joel on Tuesday night in Columbus and had an AMAZING time. We had the best trip, my aunt and uncle were so accommodating, my dad took us anywhere and everywhere we wanted to go, we ate at some amazing restaurants and just really enjoyed ourselves. I'll post more on that whole trip next time, but right now, it's time for a NAP!


7w5d (moved up 4 days!)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Road Trip!

Tomorrow we are leaving for Columbus to see my family AND to see Elton John and Billy Joel in concert! Ben bought me these tickets for Valentine's Day and it seemed like forever until the concert would get here and now we are packing our bags and getting ready to leave!

This will be Baby's SECOND road trip! I went to Lake Lure with some of the women in my family in June right after we found out we were pg. I traveled really well last time, aside from requiring more potty stops so I hope tomorrow goes as well. My dad is going to drive us to Columbus so he can see his brother's and their families, so that takes a lot of the pressure off of me. Ben has to work tonight and will likely be tired and I get tired at odd times, so it was going to make getting there interesting if we were both tired.

As for me, I am doing well. My symptoms really seem to come and go throughout the day. I know I am going to be a rack full of nerves until our next scan on Thursday, but I am trying to remember that God is in control of this situation. I have had no bleeding, so I am taking that as a good sign. I haven't really had any problem's with nausea either, so I am taking that as God saying "Getting pregnant was hard enough. You deserve an easy pregnancy."

I have faith. God is good.



Thursday, July 9, 2009

Houston, We Have A.....


I have been so tired and honestly have not had the energy to post a follow up. We saw the gestational sac, the yolk sac, the start of a fetal pole and a teeny tiny heartbeat! We actually measured ahead by about 4 days, which was great! We constantly measured behind with Buddha (Love you, Buddha!) and it was always a cause for concern for me. I do have a picture and I promise to post it soon, I just have to find the time to scan it in and upload it.

So far, I have been doing really well. I am exhausted, emotional, hungry and nauseous all at the same time, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. And to be honest, my nausea hasn't even been all that bad. It seems to flare up at night and is pretty light during the day. I did throw up for the first time today, but luckily, I was in the shower so clean up was a breeze, haha.

Ben has been amazing. He always makes sure I have everything I want or could ever need. I'm on pelvic rest still so he has really stepped up helping around the house, which I really appreciate. He has always been helpful, but he has really made the effort to go the extra mile lately.

So you are up to date. I am still spotting a little every day, but it is likely from the progesterone I have to take twice a day, which is known to cause spotting. It's always light pink to brown, so no need for alarm, but I hate it and wish it would stop.

Ben and I are leaving for Columbus, OH on Monday to see Elton John and Billy Joel in concert (AHHH!). My dad is awesome and is nice enough to drive us and my Aunt Terri and Uncle Dan are super awesome and are letting us stay at their house for a few days. I get so tired so easily that it will be really nice to not have to worry about driving at all and I won't have worry about staying at a hotel in an uncomfy bed. We are so ready for this little break from reality!

Please keep us in your prayers as we travel (and pray for the spotting to stop!). As always, leave me a comment or e-mail me with any prayer requests you have for yourself or your family!



Monday, July 6, 2009

First Ultrasound Tomorrow...

To say I am nervous would be an understatement. I will be 5w6d, so I don't plan to see more than a gestational sac, yolk sac and probably the fetal pole, but not the heartbeat yet.

My nausea and exhaustion have really kicked up today and I am honestly not upset about it at all. I had no nausea last time at all and was rarely tired, so I take these as reassuring signs that all is well.

I have spent the majority of today praying, begging God to give us a good scan tomorrow and great results. I have felt calm and at ease yesterday and today, so I have faith that God is taking over and providing me with the peace I desperately need.

So if you don't mind, say a quick prayer for us tonight, and always, leave your prayer requests in the comments section and I'll return the favor.



Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th of July Buddha AND Baby!

I can't believe I am blessed enough to wish both my little ones a Happy 4th!

Buddha- I trust that you are behaving and keeping things under control up there. We miss you more than ever now that we have another baby on the way, but trust me when I say you are not forgotten. Happy 4th, Buddha. I'm sure you have the best seat in the house for watching all the fireworks!

Baby- I still feel you dig deep down there quite often. Thanks for not giving us any major scares yet and your dad and I can't wait to see you on Tuesday! Hang on in there, Baby, we've still got a ways to go.

You both are so special to your dad and I. Enjoy the 4th!



"Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better."
Albert Camus

Friday, July 3, 2009

Dear Baby

You are 5w2d's old! YAY! So far, you make me seriously tired, bloated, cramp just a little, (slightly) nauseous at times and have made my boobs blow up and for all those things, I am thankful. I have also forgotten what it is like to take a good poop- for that I am not so thankful. But all these are good signs. They reassure me that you are in there and doing well.

Today you are the size of an apple seed. It's hard to believe you will grow to be the size of a watermelon by next year. This week you are starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive).

I have been making a *huge* effort to just relax and enjoy the time I have with you bouncing around in there. Of course I don't feel you yet, but I already have big plans and dreams for you.

Dig deep in there, Baby. You've got almost 34 weeks to grow.

Your dad and I already love you so much more than you can imagine and Buddha watches over you every day. Stick with us, Baby. So many people are praying for you.

Love you, Baby.


A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
-- Eda J. Le Shan

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

In Due Time.

I have hemmed and hawed over what this post would be like. I have wondered more times than I care to admit if I would ever get to make a post like this. I have gone back and forth over when I would make this post, but after realizing I share the inner most information regarding all my RE appts, progesterone supps and our sex life, I figured I would take the plunge.

So here it is.

We are pregnant!

I can't believe I am blessed enough to get to type those three words out. Ben and I have known for over a week now, but, like I said, I had a hard time knowing when to post our big announcement. It's like a secret I wanted (and still want) to keep close to my heart and not share it with anyone. I didn't want to jinx anything. I didn't want people to get disappointed if it all turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. I was (and still am) overjoyed, thrilled, nervous and scared to the core. Maybe terrified is a better word. Who knows? Not me. All I know right now, at this moment is we are pregnant and we are both already so in love with our little one.

So what worked? For us it was a combination or:
-Metformin-1500mg, every day
-Clomid-100mg, CD 5-9
-HCG Trigger, CD 17
-Progesterone Supps, 3DPO and on through 14 weeks
-Pineapple Core, 1-2 inch piece, 3-7DPO (helps with implantation)
-Pomegranate Juice- 8 ounces, every day (helps with egg quality)

So far, every thing looks good, which we are so, so thankful for. I swear an hour doesn't go by when I don't thank God for this blessing. My initial beta's were 120 at 13 DPO and 1251 at 19 DPO, which gives them a doubling time of about 43 hours (beta's are supposed to double at least every 48-72 hours). My progesterone levels look awesome (thanks in part to the nasty progesterone supps, but whatever it takes, right?). My levels were always decent with Buddha, but never exactly right, so I am taking this as a good sign.

I can't even describe how I feel at this moment. It's such a jumble. I am so thrilled and excited, that goes without saying. But, just like I knew it would, a prior loss taints every pregnancy after it. I wonder if I will ever feel 100% comfortable in this pregnancy, or any pregnancy for that matter. Every cramp or twinge sends a shock wave through my heart. The progesterone I am on is known to cause spotting, and so far, it has only done so twice, but every time it makes your chest hurt. (Luckily both times it was only light pink and was high up near my cervix so I knew it was nothing major, but you can understand the fear.) I had two back to back dreams in which I had a miscarriage last weekend. Those are enough to make you not want to sleep for a week.

So I pray. All day. All night. I wake up praying, I eat praying, I go to sleep praying. A very dear friend said to me "This is not your baby, this is God's baby and you have to trust that He knows what is best for the both of you." And she's right. This isn't ours. This is God's and He was just nice enough to share it with us for the time being. In a perfect world, He will share this with us for many, many years to come. If that is not His be honest, I don't even go there. We'll cross that bridge should we come to it.

Our first ultrasound is next Tuesday, July 7. I am nervously excited. I am pretty sure we will not be able to see the heartbeat yet, but if we do I will take it as an added bonus. The purpose of this first early u/s is to date the pregnancy and make sure everything is right where it should be.

So please continue to pray for us. We are cautiously optimistic and ever faithful. Pray for our baby, pray for my nerves, pray for Ben to survive all my insanity, pray for a smooth, uneventful pregnancy. Just pray.

And this will likely be my last disclaimer I ever have to write on this blog. Do not, do not, do not breathe a word of this to anyone. Not on facebook, not to your neighbor, not to your mom's friend, your aunt- family of ours or not. Anyone. We don't know when we will make a large, formal announcement, but I would like to have the privilege of telling people, not by having others find out through the grapevine. The majority of you are strangers to me and live far away, some are friends and family. Please keep this to yourself. As of right now only my immediate family, Ben's immediate family and my grandparents know, so please try to keep it that way. Don't burn me on this one. Clearly this is important to us and we want to keep it to ourselves right now. I do have a certain degree of anonymity on here and that is why I chose to put this information out there. And, as I have said before, this blog is for me to look back at in later years and see all that we overcame. This is not a place for you to gather the latest gossip.

Should this prove to be a problem, this blog will indefinitely move to a private site and I will pick and choose who has access to it. I do have an idea who stops by over here right now, so that does help, but please don't make me move to a private account.

I would give you the same courtesy's I am asking for above, so please do the same for me.

::steps off soapbox::

I'll post later about our (hilarious and embarrassing) BFP story, cravings, symptoms and all the other joys we are experiencing right now sometime later, but for right now, we are just trying to enjoy this amazing blessing God has handed down to us.

Baby P.
Due Feb. 28, 2010


I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.
1 Samuel 1:27