Saturday, May 15, 2010

Invites are out!

If you didn't get an invite to the new, private blog, please email me at! I am so excited about getting back into blogging and have so much to write about. I hope to see you all on the other side!


Thursday, May 6, 2010

Happy Due Date, Buddha

Hi Sweet Boy,

I can't believe you would be turning a year old tomorrow. I can't imaging how different our lives would be, but I know all things work out the way they should and God had a plan that has now come full circle for us as a family. Your sister has brought us so much joy and we talk to her every day about you and how special you still are to us. You will always hold a special, special place in my heart. You will always be my first baby. No one will ever replace you.

Have a very HAPPY DUE DATE! Give lots of hugs and share tons of smiles.

We love you to the moon and back and to the moon again.


Momma, Daddy and Baby Abbey

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Hapy Easter, Buddha and Abbey!

We love you both so much and are so thankful for both of you. Buddha, we still think about you daily and I constantly look for rainbows every time it rains. Abbey got to see her first rainbow last week and it meant so much to me! You will always be our first baby and hold such a special place in my heart. Abbey, you are our miracle. You have brought so much love and joy and healing to me and daddy and we thank God for you every day.

We are so very proud of BOTH of you!



Monday, March 22, 2010

Friday, March 5, 2010

If you're wondering...

We are doing amazing! Abbey is such a blessing and we couldn't have asked for a more perfect, beautiful daughter. She sleeps like a champ, nurses like she was born do to it (even though we are fighting low supply issues-Thanks again, PCOS!) and is more than we could have ever asked for. I will be posting a birth story at some point. Labor and delivery were interesting, but I wouldn't change a single thing about the entire day. Even if it had been the worst experience of my life (which it wasn't), I would do it all over again.

I have not got the new blog up yet, so don't think you've missed the boat if you didn't get an invite yet. This little miracle takes up my entire day (that and being chained to the pump...) so I haven't had a chance to get everything set up just yet. It's coming! I promise!

Abbey is 11 days old.

Sunday, February 28, 2010


Abigail Marie

February 22, 2010 6:45pm

7lbs 0oz 21 Inches

Monday, February 8, 2010


I've been a bad blogger. Honestly, I just haven't felt like blogging. My heart just hasn't been in it lately and time has not been on my side. I am off work now (more on that later) so it sounds like I have tons of free time, but I have tons of things to get done in that seemingly (to me) short amount of time. Here's a brief run down of everything that's been going on:

-I'm officially full term! 37w2d today! As of today, I am 3cm dilated and 50% effaced.
-Abbey and I are both doing great!
-I am still struggling with weight gain, but it's nothing to be really concerned over. Last Monday at my 36 week appt, I lost all 10 pounds I had gained up until that point. So that got me taken out of work and put on modified bed rest and earned me a super fun stay in L&D. The nurses in L&D were super, super nice and I got to go home about 5 hours after I checked in. So no biggie :)
-Abbey's room is FINISHED! I'll post pictures later.
-I'll also catch up on my belly pics from the past few weeks at some point.

And that's really all that's been going on. I've been really enjoying and savoring these last few weeks and have been spending as much time as I can just watching Miss Abbey bounce and move around in my belly. I know I've said it a million times, but I'm going to miss her being inside so, so much. Ben can't wait to get her out, I can't imagine not having her in!

If you have e-mailed me about my private blog, I have your e-mail saved and will get invites out soon. That is probably another reason I haven't blogged over here much. I have a lot of things that are more personal that I am saving and don't really feel comfortable sharing with just anyone. I'll try to get all those invites out this week at some point.


Saturday, January 9, 2010

33 Weeks!

How far along? 33 Weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: I gained TWO pounds! YAY! So as of last Monday, my total weight gain is a whopping FOUR pounds! At our US, Abbey weighed in at 4lbs4oz, so...haha, it balances.
Maternity clothes? I had to break down and order maternity shirts yesterday (by the way-Old Navy has all their clearance at 75% off! They also have $10 off a $50 purchase online-code: CELEBRATE. I got about 15 pieces for less than $50, including shipping).
Sleep: I have had much better luck this week. Once I figured out how to arrange my 8793 pillows in a way that makes me comfortable I am sleeping through the night. YAY!
Best moment this week: Seeing Abbey on the ultrasound Wednesday, clearly bigger than she was a month ago. Watching her move around the screen and see all of her fingers and toes is so much fun and gives us so much to look forward to!
Movement: She is trying to escape. I swear she is. Ben and I laid in bed Tuesday night and watched her roll from side to side and kick and punch. I push her feet and she pushes back. She is really a crazy baby!
Food cravings: Nothing this week, really. My appetite is back in the trashcan.
Labor Signs: No, thank you.
Belly Button in or out? Seriously, Bellybutton. GIVE IT UP.
What I miss: Not having reflux!
What I am looking forward to: Our Baby Shower on the 23rd :)
Weekly Wisdom:Soak it all in. I have friends that are just finding out they are pregnant or what gender they are having and I'm almost jealous. I hate the anxiety that comes with pregnancy, especially a pregnancy following a loss, but I loved all the milestones. Leaving first tri, finding out the sex, hitting the half way mark. I can't say enough how much I'll miss this.
Milestones: Right now, every day is a milestone. I am more pregnant than I have ever been, so everyday is a huge deal. Our goal is 40 weeks, 37 at the earliest, so every day is one day closer to our goal. (I know this has been the same since the beginning but I honestly believe it.)

What is Abbey up to?

Abbey's senses are continuing to improve -- when light peeks in through your (extremely) stretched belly, her tiny eyelids and irises blink and dilate. And, she can now recognize and react to simple songs… time to start practicing lullabies! Growth (at least inside the womb) is starting to slow, and you may notice baby descend into your pelvis at the end of this month.

^^That's the second to last fruit picture! There's only ONE more! Holy crap!

And since I'm lazy, I didn't update after our appointment on Monday OR our ultrasound on Wednesday. The appointment Monday wasn't exciting. Blood pressure was 117/79, textbook perfect. I gained a whole 2 pounds. Abbey was transverse breech and my belly was measuring exactly 32 weeks.
Wednesday was more exciting because it was ultrasound day! (I can't believe I only have one more ultrasound before I get to see her in person and hold her squishy butt!) She is growing and that's the important thing! So for now, I am staying on Metformin because it does control my PCOS so well and it isn't harming Abbey. She was in the 30% overall last time and her belly measured in the 12%. This time, she was almost in the 40% and her belly had grown to the 15%! YAY Abbey! As you can see in the picture above, 4lbs2oz is the lower average for 32 week babies and our IttyBitty weighed in at 4lbs4oz! I cried I was so happy to see her growing and thriving. Her fluid levels, cord and placenta all looked amazing and as of right now IUGR is NOT a concern for our little one! God is amazing and I can't thank you all enough for your prayers and support!

One last thing, if you left your email address in the comments below, I have it! If you emailed me at and didn't get a reply, email me again. I think I got everyone back, but it's not unlike me to look over things. I'll be making the jump to the private blog probably in February, so you still have plenty of time to get in touch with me :)

I hope you are all having a great 2010! As soon as I take our Week 33 picture, I'll add both it and Week 32. Promise!

33 Weeks

Saturday, January 2, 2010

32 Weeks!

How far along? 32 Weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: I am still struggling with my appetite. I'm trying to make sure the calories I am taking in are good calories that will benefit Abbey the most and help her gain weight. My official weigh in is Monday afternoon-wish me luck!
Maternity clothes? Thankfully I got some maternity shirts for Christmas that are really cute and are much more comfy. However, I'm not even sure they will make it through the next 6-7 weeks! I swear I get bigger every day at this point.
Sleep: I don't want to talk about it. But I will. Sleep at this point would be awesome. But between the fact that my hips seriously feel like they might snap in half when I lay on my side, the paralyzing spasms I get in my left hip joint and the radiating reflux that flares up when I go 1 degree past sitting straight up, my sleep is suffering. Really. It's not unbearable and once I get enough pillows (read: literally every pillow in the house) adjusted in just the right way, I can get a good 4-6 hours in at a stretch. Abbey loves to dance as soon as I lay down so I don't really mind staying up to watch her bounce around :)
Best moment this week: WARNING: Totally cheesy moment ahead. I love Ben and I know he loves me. But I was standing in the kitchen this week and he walked up behind me, wrapped his arms around my middle and put his hands over Abbey. It's like she knew it was him because she moved right over to where his hands were on my belly and snuggled in and kicked his hands. It seriously made my heart melt. She's so in love with her daddy already.
Movement: She bounces like crazy and I can't get enough of it. It makes me sad to think this is all coming to an end. I really will miss her feet in my bladder.
Food cravings: Milk. Pineapple. Bagels and cream cheese (but only from Tim Horton's!)
Labor Signs: No, thank you.
Belly Button in or out? Give it up, Bellybutton. You're done! Throw int he towel!
What I miss: Not having reflux!
What I am looking forward to: Seeing Abbey at our US January 6!
Weekly Wisdom: Some people will never be happy for you. Forget them. Seriously. I have always found room to be happy for someone else no matter how sad or envious I am of them or their situation. Some people really struggle with that and it's kind of sad. I'd hate to be that self involved.
Milestones: Right now, every day is a milestone. I am more pregnant than I have ever been, so everyday is a huge deal. Our goal is 40 weeks, 37 at the earliest, so every day is one day closer to our goal. (I know this has been the same since the beginning but I honestly believe it.)

There is no fruit picture this week, but there will be one next week and it's the second to last one! You have no idea how sad that makes me. I remember when we were back at the apple seed and now we are edging closer to the watermelon. Slow down, time!

I'll try to update Monday after my appt! Hopefully I'll be seeing my OB and not her partner :) If not...there will probably be tears!

Oh, and we will TRY to start our L&D classes again this Tuesday! This is our third attempt (and our last chance) at taking these classes so hopefully they don't drop the ball (again!).

32 Weeks

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable New Year!

We got pretty crazy here at our house. My dad came in, we ordered Pizza Hut, watched The Hangover and were in bed by 12:30am. WHOA. Pretty insane. haha. It was low key and easy and that's all I was looking for.

First, here is my 31 Week Belly Pic from last week:
And that would be Boston, one of our Boxers, being a punk and sneaking into the picture. He LOVES being in Abbey's room even though he knows it is technically off limits. You can tell by his face he knows he is busted.

Anyway, Ben and I were talking today and I almost fell out of my seat when he said "Ya know, we are having a baby next month."

Um, excuse me? Next month? Holy snot. Where has time gone? I remember getting our BFP back in June like it happened yesterday. I'm so not ready for this to be over. I'm really not.I've loved every minute of this pregnancy, even barfing my head off in the shower and readjusting myself 93898 times at night because it feels like my hips might break in half. I know and Ben knows that no matter how much I have enjoyed this pregnancy, this is likely our last. I don't really want to go through the stress of TTC again, I definitely don't want to go through the insanity of Clomid and thousands of dates with dildo cam's again and honestly, I think one baby here is enough. We've got an angel and a baby. What else do we need? We both have good jobs and make pretty good money, so lack of funding isn't keeping us from going for two. There is something stuck in our heads that says one will be enough. We already love Abbey (and Buddha) so much that I can't imagine sharing that love with another. As I've said, we write nothing in stone. If God chooses to bless us again or points us down the road of adoption, we are open to it. But at the moment, it's far from our minds and not remotely close to being in our interests. (By the way, why does everyone ask if we will be having another baby? Can't we get this one here before we have to yield that question?)

Speaking of Buddha, I've slipped back into some sort of funk about losing him lately. I don't know if it's the holidays that remind me I should have a baby in my arms now, taking his pictures as he opens presents, showing him off at family gatherings. Or maybe it's that I constantly get asked about this pregnancy when we go out. It never fails. Someone asks "Is this your first baby?" Ugh. I get a knot in my stomach when I get asked that. It's not our first, but it's just easier to smile and say yes. Then I get this wave of guilt that washes over me that wants to retract that statement and tell them all about Buddha and how great our time with him was and how special he still is to us. But I don't. It's a really awkward spot between a rock and a hard spot. There is no right answer. Buddha is always going to be our angel. Abbey will always (God willing) be our baby. But how do you explain that to a stranger who asks an innocent question in under 10 seconds?

I'm so excited for 2010. I will spend the evenings watching Abbey dance in my belly. Ben will continue to bring me water or pillows or whatever I need at the time. We will hopefully catch a few more movies in the theater before our movie going days are over. We will be welcoming our daughter and completing our family. We will learn how to be parents. We will be growing as a couple (and hopefully not killing each other in the process). We will be going on a lot more adrenaline and a lot less sleep. We will be focusing on spending more time with our families. We will get to watch Abbey grow and learn right in front of us. We are so excited and can't wait to see what God has in store for us.

Buddha, I hope you enjoyed your New Year! I'm sure the celebration up there was more exciting than ours was here at home. Your dad and I still think about you and talk about you every day. You are never far from our hearts or our minds. Please don't think you are ever going to be left behind, as you are permanently attached to my heart. Every day I can feel you slowly mending the hole that was left in my heart the day we lost you. It's not closed yet, but it's getting there. We love you so, so much.

Abbey, I know we both tell you a thousand times a day we love you, but it's so much more than that. You make me smile more times in a day than I can count. You are just like your momma in so many ways. You dance like crazy when I watch my favorite shows. It makes me laugh so hard when I listen to Britney Spears in the car (partly to drive your dad nuts and partly because she is so darn catchy!) and we watch you bounce around at the stoplights. But you are just like your daddy in all the ways that make me love him most. You always give one big stretch right before you settle in for a nap just like he does. You instantly relax when you listen to your Bob Marley lullaby CD. I love watching your daddy light up when he feels you kick so hard. You are our miracle and we can't wait to meet you (next month!).

And Bellybutton, throw in the towel. You've made it 32 weeks. It's okay. Ben and I laugh at your feeble attempts to hang on, but it's getting kinda sad. Every day you are more shallow than you were the day before. You fought the good fight and it's really okay to pop out like a turkey timer now, haha! You will go back to your deep state once again...someday.


PS- If you haven't emailed me about a request for the private blog and are interested in still following us, email me at I have tried to email those of you have contacted me so you know I received your message. If you don't hear back from me, email me again!