Wednesday, July 1, 2009

In Due Time.

I have hemmed and hawed over what this post would be like. I have wondered more times than I care to admit if I would ever get to make a post like this. I have gone back and forth over when I would make this post, but after realizing I share the inner most information regarding all my RE appts, progesterone supps and our sex life, I figured I would take the plunge.

So here it is.

We are pregnant!

I can't believe I am blessed enough to get to type those three words out. Ben and I have known for over a week now, but, like I said, I had a hard time knowing when to post our big announcement. It's like a secret I wanted (and still want) to keep close to my heart and not share it with anyone. I didn't want to jinx anything. I didn't want people to get disappointed if it all turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. I was (and still am) overjoyed, thrilled, nervous and scared to the core. Maybe terrified is a better word. Who knows? Not me. All I know right now, at this moment is we are pregnant and we are both already so in love with our little one.

So what worked? For us it was a combination or:
-Metformin-1500mg, every day
-Clomid-100mg, CD 5-9
-HCG Trigger, CD 17
-Progesterone Supps, 3DPO and on through 14 weeks
-Pineapple Core, 1-2 inch piece, 3-7DPO (helps with implantation)
-Pomegranate Juice- 8 ounces, every day (helps with egg quality)

So far, every thing looks good, which we are so, so thankful for. I swear an hour doesn't go by when I don't thank God for this blessing. My initial beta's were 120 at 13 DPO and 1251 at 19 DPO, which gives them a doubling time of about 43 hours (beta's are supposed to double at least every 48-72 hours). My progesterone levels look awesome (thanks in part to the nasty progesterone supps, but whatever it takes, right?). My levels were always decent with Buddha, but never exactly right, so I am taking this as a good sign.

I can't even describe how I feel at this moment. It's such a jumble. I am so thrilled and excited, that goes without saying. But, just like I knew it would, a prior loss taints every pregnancy after it. I wonder if I will ever feel 100% comfortable in this pregnancy, or any pregnancy for that matter. Every cramp or twinge sends a shock wave through my heart. The progesterone I am on is known to cause spotting, and so far, it has only done so twice, but every time it makes your chest hurt. (Luckily both times it was only light pink and was high up near my cervix so I knew it was nothing major, but you can understand the fear.) I had two back to back dreams in which I had a miscarriage last weekend. Those are enough to make you not want to sleep for a week.

So I pray. All day. All night. I wake up praying, I eat praying, I go to sleep praying. A very dear friend said to me "This is not your baby, this is God's baby and you have to trust that He knows what is best for the both of you." And she's right. This isn't ours. This is God's and He was just nice enough to share it with us for the time being. In a perfect world, He will share this with us for many, many years to come. If that is not His be honest, I don't even go there. We'll cross that bridge should we come to it.

Our first ultrasound is next Tuesday, July 7. I am nervously excited. I am pretty sure we will not be able to see the heartbeat yet, but if we do I will take it as an added bonus. The purpose of this first early u/s is to date the pregnancy and make sure everything is right where it should be.

So please continue to pray for us. We are cautiously optimistic and ever faithful. Pray for our baby, pray for my nerves, pray for Ben to survive all my insanity, pray for a smooth, uneventful pregnancy. Just pray.

And this will likely be my last disclaimer I ever have to write on this blog. Do not, do not, do not breathe a word of this to anyone. Not on facebook, not to your neighbor, not to your mom's friend, your aunt- family of ours or not. Anyone. We don't know when we will make a large, formal announcement, but I would like to have the privilege of telling people, not by having others find out through the grapevine. The majority of you are strangers to me and live far away, some are friends and family. Please keep this to yourself. As of right now only my immediate family, Ben's immediate family and my grandparents know, so please try to keep it that way. Don't burn me on this one. Clearly this is important to us and we want to keep it to ourselves right now. I do have a certain degree of anonymity on here and that is why I chose to put this information out there. And, as I have said before, this blog is for me to look back at in later years and see all that we overcame. This is not a place for you to gather the latest gossip.

Should this prove to be a problem, this blog will indefinitely move to a private site and I will pick and choose who has access to it. I do have an idea who stops by over here right now, so that does help, but please don't make me move to a private account.

I would give you the same courtesy's I am asking for above, so please do the same for me.

::steps off soapbox::

I'll post later about our (hilarious and embarrassing) BFP story, cravings, symptoms and all the other joys we are experiencing right now sometime later, but for right now, we are just trying to enjoy this amazing blessing God has handed down to us.

Baby P.
Due Feb. 28, 2010


I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.
1 Samuel 1:27


Sara said...

I am a long time reader and this is my first comment. CONGRATS a million times over!!! so happy to hear your amazing news!! I will continue to pray for you and your growing family!! :)

Jessica Loves Trevor (JLT) said...

Yay! Congrats, again! I am so excited for you guys! I know what you mean about praying constantly b/c I am right there with you. I will keep you and your little one in my prayers. I am beyond thrilled for you!

T. said...

So weird, but I just had this feeling you were gonna say that! I've been checking your blog over and over lately! Wow, weird. Anyway, I am so happy for you and your family. I will be thinking of you and praying for all of those things every day. More than just once.. all the time. I can't wait to hear every little detail. Awesomeness! You've worked so hard for this & I'm so proud of you and Ben! Thanks for letting me share this wonderful part of your life with you through this blog. <3

Amanda Hoyt said...

Hugs and congratulations again, Cate! I am super excited for you and praying each day!!

ShoeFanatic614 said...

I am also a long time reader but I just had to say CONGRATS to you and your husband. I'll definitely be praying for your little family!

Anonymous said...

Long time reader,first time commenter. I've prayed for you and your dh and I'm so excited for the two of you! Congratulations on your precious little blessing.

momqat said...

God is faithful. He will hold your growing family in His hands and you will be blessed.
I am so thrilled and excited for you and Ben. His stock is soaring!
luv ya!

*Amy Leigh* said...

Oh babe, congrats one-billion times over!!! I was behind on my google reader and I just saw this or I would have posted earlier...maybe we should meet up as pregnant pals!!! Good luck and I will keep praying for you all!!

Eric and Laura Fentress said...

Congrats, Catie!! This is awesome- I'm so happy for you two!

Anonymous said...

I lurk on botb from time to time--and that's how I found your blog. I don't usually comment. But this post deserves a huge: Congratulations!! YAY!!

So entirely excited for you and your husband!! :)

LittleCyndiLou said...

I have been reading your blog for a while and I am so happy for you! You friend gave you excellent advice!

Congrats and the happiest and healthiest 9 months to you!

Rebecca said...

Oh Catie, I'm so glad to read this post...Congratulations! And does it count as telling if I tell Carol to read your blog...? Because you know I will seriously not tell her if you want me to wait, I can absolutely keep my mouth shut :)

I'm so excited for you guys. My heart is jumping for joy! And I'll keep lifting my prayers for y'all. Love you!

Mrs. Rootbeer said...


I am so excited and thrilled for you and Ben. You helped me through my darkest hours and you probably don't even realize this. I will keep you and your little one in my prayers :) Thank you again for everything.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you. I've been reading for a while and have been praying for you. yay!!!

Rachel and Brett said...

I am telling you CONGRATS in all ways that I can think of! So CONGRATS again. I am so happy for you sweetie!

Chaz can't wait to meet his newest buddy!

Nick & Sarah D said...

I love this post :)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Catie!! I am SO happy for you and Ben! I will continue to pray for you and Ben and Baby P. :) Such an amazing gift!! Congrats again!


Erin said...


I am so happy for you! I will keep you in my prayers.

Kim said...

CONGRATS..I know how scary it is to get a positive after a loss. I will be praying for you and for an easy and uneventful pregnacy!! YAY!!

magdalina said...

Congratulations!!! I have goosebumps because I'm so excited for you.

Anonymous said...

What wonderful news! Dan and I are so happy for you and Ben! We'll be praying for you all. Terri