It wasn't great news, but it wasn't terrible. I'll start from the beginning.
So the three pounds I had gained (overall)...pretty much gone. I lost 2 pounds. So we are at one pound total for weight gain. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't skinny pre-pregnancy, but I still should have gained more than 1 pound by now. I'm losing weight which is keeping Abbey from gaining appropriately. Which leads to the next issue.
Abbey is pretty small. Her belly is only measuring in the 12% and overall she is in the 32% for babies at her gestational age. Her head, limbs, organs, fluid levels, cord and placenta all look good right now, she just is a little behind, growth wise.
So now the plan is for me to increase my caloric intake and gain some pounds. Every one keeps saying "Load up on ice cream and Chinese!". Uh, yea, that sounds fun, but (1) I don't feel like eating 99% of the time and when I do, it's never much and (2) I want to gain the weight in a healthy way, not by loading up on junk. I'm loading up on complex carbs and protein in an effort to gain weight but to it in a healthy manner.
AND It sounds like I'm having a C-section. O_O
My ovaries are apparently a real mess. My right one, anyway. From the US yesterday she can tell is it practically ruined and would rather me not have it. Apparently "diseased" ovaries are more likely to develop cancerous places on them and what not, so I'm likely better off without it. Lefty is doing ok and is the ovary we triggered from for Abbey, so I guess the right is a dud anyway.
And if Abbey stays small, she would rather deliver her by csec. Smaller babies sometimes don't do as well with vaginal deliveries and a csec i usually less stressful on them.
She said ultimately the decision is mine, but I really trust her and her partner with my care 100%. If they feel this is best for Abbey, I believe them.
Also, they are going to monitor Abbey every 10-14 days to check her growth and monitor my weight gain. If at 37 weeks she is still tiny, they will do an amnio and go ahead and deliver her. IUGR is one of her concerns and she said those babies tend to do better on the outside than in. Babies with IUGR sometimes have genetic issues or have drug addicted mothers and since neither is the case with our Abbey, lack of maternal weight gain is our only answer. She has not been diagnosed with IUGR at this point and we are really hoping to avoid it which makes it even more important for me to pack on some pounds.
This all makes me really sad. I'm a mess. I feel like a total eff up. I can't get pregnant on my own. Now I can't even provide well enough for her on the inside. How am I going to be a good mom when she is on the outside if I can't provide for her now.
But right now I really don't have time for a pity party. All my energy is being focused towards her and making her grow big and strong. Our goal is full term, but ultimately we know God is in control and will watch over us and take care of Abbey.
We really appreciate any prayers you can spare. We want a full term, healthy little girl and I really believe prayers can get us there.
Boulder Ridge Zoo
1 week ago