Speechless

I am very blessed. I know this.

I prayed for a great husband. God gave me that and then some.

I prayed that we would find the house meant for us. God gave us that and the means to afford it.

I prayed and prayed for my dream job to be offered to me. God gave me that and awesome coworkers.

I pray for health and well being for those in my family and around me. God gives me that daily.

I have always prayed for great friends. God has gone above and beyond in this area.

I have struggled to keep Buddha's memory alive. The ten weeks we spent with him were the best of my life (so far). He made both of us so happy and thankful and excited. We want others to remember that he is still very much a part of us and always will be, but I also know that it is hard to do so without harping on the loss and coming off as though I am in a constant state of grief and mourning.

Many, many have stepped up, especially as we get closer and closer to our original due date, who want to do something to help memorialize Buddha. My brother has offered to buy us a tree and plant it in our yard as a memorial. A good- no, a great Nestie friend (Hi, Armandos!) has offered to make a donation to the March of Dimes in Buddha's memory. Several local friends have offered to take me or both of us out on May 7 to keep our minds busy and our spirits light.

And today, I got an e-mail from a group of high school friends, some of who I have not spoken too in years. They made a very generous donation to KinderMourn. This Sunday KinderMourn is sponsoring a duck race at the US National Whitewater Center. The kind donation that they made will sponsor 12 of our own little duckies who will race down the rapids to the finish line. Our ducks are racing under "Team Baby Buddha" and we are so proud of each one of them. This is a charity that provides a safe haven for families whose lives have been shattered by the death of a child. They provide a comforting place for families to grieve over their loss and put the pieces back together after their world falls apart following the loss of their child.

There really is no way to let all these people know how much this truly means to us. There really isn't. Of course I always say Thank You and let them know how much their gesture means to us, but other than that, what can you do? I wish I could send a marching band, parade of elephants and an oversize cake with a scantily clad girl ready to pop out the top in it to each of their doors just so they know how much these things mean to us. But, that would get expensive quick and I don't think too many towns would be too thrilled if there were large piles of elephant crap spread about the town.


So. Chris, Armandos, Becca, Alicia, Alisa, Amber, Megan, Kim, Carol, Rachel, Carrie and all the others who are striving to keep Buddha's memory alive and well, we really do thank you. There is no way to for you to know how much this means to us unless you have been in our seat and have had the same kind of out pouring of love and support come from so many people. Unfortunately the only one way for you to understand how much this really means to us is for you go through the loss of your own child and I wouldn't wish that on my very worst enemy in the world.

I would write in this blog all day if it would help you realize how much it means to us both and how much it raises our spirit and our heart. We love you all and appreciate all the kind donations and gestures so many of you have made.


Love,
Cate and Ben



PS-This is probably a scattered entry and I will come back and read this later and question how I could write something so unorganized. It's hard to type a coherent entry when you are so emotionally charged (in a great way) and have tears (of joy) streaming down your face. My apologies for the insanity above.