Sunday, September 27, 2009

I have a bone to pick with all you mothers....

WHY was I never warned about the poop vac? I have been warned about crapping all over the delivery table, but having all my poo sucked out by a shop vac prior to delivery?! WHY was I never told?

My younger brother, also the World's Most All-Knowing OB expert, informed me of this last week. He swears it is gospel truth. They use it for every delivery, every time. His girlfriend's OB informed them of this medical machine at their appointment last week (keep in mind, this is the same OB who claims US measurements are exact).

So, blog world, thanks for nothing.

Hahaha! I'm totally kidding. Well, not about the poop vac. After using several mom friends as my own personal WebMD, I confirmed what I though-totally false. No one, to date, has yet to hear of this alleged poop vac. I love you all dearly and thought you might benefit from a good laugh!

Abbey and I are doing well, we have had a busy weekend of nesting (which my house appreciated). Our next US appt is October 7, but surely I will find something to update about before then.




Nlvaden said...

You had me laughing. I pictured it in my head-getting the poop sucked out. lmao

Alyssa said...

You freaked me out!!!

Mrs. MidAtlantic said...

Um... WHAT?!?!
Oh, thank GOODNESS that is a lie.
You had me sweating bullets there for a minute!

kdodge said...


Sad thing is as I am typing this, they just did a bit about digital poop removal on Family Guy.

sulfababy said...

Haha! Maybe believing in the poop vac is a way for men to live in denial. :)

Jessica said...

Oh my gosh, you literally almost made me have a total melt down!! I was already anticipating the feeling of having my poop forcefully vacuumed out... not a pretty thought!

Amanda Hoyt said...

Too funny! Nope, no poop removal machine for me either time :) LOL!!
Hope you have a great week!

Katie said...

Thank you for praying for us Cate. ; )

momqat said...

For all expectant moms: There is absolutely NO such thing as the poop vac! Trust me, I've been a nurse for 30 years and have never seen this (I could go into a detailed explanation about how a bowel blockage is removed, both with suction thru the nose and digitally removing with a finger, but, NAHH!!).
Rarely, an enema will be given during labor, but that doesn't happen nearly as often as it used to.
The poop vac was Elliott's way of pushing Catie's buttons. You'd think she'd be on to him by now! He can say outrageous stuff with such a straight face that he could convince the Devil that he needs a heat pump! It works with Catie every time!
My co-workers got a big laugh out of this.