Thursday, May 21, 2009

Not Cool, Potentially Cool and Very Cool.

Not Cool:
My younger (irresponsible and broke among other things) and his gf are pregnant and I'm having a hard time with it, I'm sure most of you remember the whole blow out. (Click Here for the whole story.)
Well, we basically don't talk anymore. His choice. I call and text...wait. Make that I used to call and text, but after so many no replies, I just gave up.

Long story short, he was moping the floor when I called him one day and I asked him why he was doing it and not his gf (he works 2 jobs, she sits around and complains). He said she can't be around ANY chemicals whatsoever.
I told him she was full of it. (kinda....I may have said it a different way, but that was the gist of it)
While it's not a good idea for her to drink drink bleach while she's pg, she can certainly mop a floor.

Then he says:

(Wait for it. It's a gem!)

"Maybe moping floors is why your baby died."


That was the last time we spoke. I feel justified in my lack of phone calls his direction. Everyone says "Oh, but he doesn't have a filter, words just fly out of his mouth!"

Hey, how 'bout this: He's 22 and about to be a father. GET AN EFFING FILTER.

Oh yea-and they are having a boy. Just like Buddha.

::flips hair::

Budhha is way cooler than their kid can ever dream of being. AND he was conceived out of love and was much wanted by many people. He was nothing to be ashamed of.

So am I being juvenile and immature? Sure. Do I have a right to be juvenile and immature? You bet your ass I do, those rights come along with your membership to the IF Club. This club doesn't have many privileges, but being juvenile and immature are some of the best.

She (the ex-gf) really wanted a girl, so when I heard it is a boy, I giggled deep down.

((If you have anything nasty to say in regards to ^^, then just don't leave a comment. I thought about locking comments down for this post but am choosing not to. It's pretty simple, if you don't like what I write, don't read it! Easy peasy.))

Moving on.

Potentially Cool:
Tomorrow we go for our follow up ultrasound. I have been doing really well on the Provera, so I hope beyond all hope that the main cyst in question is gone. ((TMI AHEAD)) I had a really hard cramp on my right side, kinda like the ones I have had before when a smaller cyst ruptured but a little harder, then had some spotting and firm globs of what looked like CM pass through, so I think whatever was left of that cyst ruptured. At least, tha
t is what I am hoping happened.

Please keep us (my right ovary, mainly) in your thoughts. I need this cyst to be GONE so I can finish up the Provera by Monday, start my period and move on.

Ask anyone who knows me, I hate needles. HATE THEM. But now, the injection part doesn't even phase me at this point. I trust Ben to do them, he works in the medical field, so I know he knows what he is doing. I am okay with doing whatever it takes to get to our end goal-a baby. I don't even mind all the IF stuff really, as long as we are moving forward
and with answers, I can deal with it. I am under the care of the best of the best in this field and am comfortable with all his suggestions and treatment options.

Like I told Ben yesterday, this is just IF. Some people have it way worse. We haven't had multiple failed IUI's or IVF's. We haven't received a terminal diagnosis for either one of us. We are good. We are just in some choppy water. Once we get through this, it will be smooth sailing (knock on wood and say a prayer).

Very Cool:
I received my first blog awards in the past month! YAY!

I am going to make a whole post just for these awards so I can keep track of who I am forwarding the on to. But THANKS to those who found my blog award worthy!

That's All. Pray for the bum ovary. I'll pray for yours.



momqat said...

I'm praying for all fo you, especially your bum ovary. All will work out well. I still see a red haired girl in your future! You and Ben will get through this and be a stronger couple for your efforts.
Don't judge Elliott and Sam too harshly. Their baby may not have been planned, but it will be loved, too.
I am praying for healing for our entire family. We've been through a lot of pain, disappointments, and losses since last fall. It's time to find joy again.
I love you better than a fat kid loves cake and ice cream!

momqat said...

BTW: The parent's curse is falling on Elliott. Didn't I tell each of you that I hope you have one just like you! Watching Elliott raise another Elliott is gonna be fun!

Sara said...

That is SOOO beyond F'd up what he said...I do not blame you and feel you are justified in your feelings! Not that you need validation from a random internet stranger...but dayum, I gasped and was intermediately pissed by that statement! Crossing fingers and sending good thoughts to you that the cyst is gone and you can continue moving forward!!

Kim said...

fingers crossed and a little prayer said for your "right" ovary! Let's hope you are in the fast track to AF!! Good luck and hang in there!

Jessica Loves Trevor (JLT) said...

Your brother deserves a swift kick in the nads for that statement, among other things. I am so sorry you had to deal with that!!

Onto other things, I am really hoping and praying your cyst is gone!

Anonymous said...

sorry about your brothers stupid words!
Hope the cyst is gone and your ovaries are ready to realease some nice eggs to be fertilized :)