Monday, May 25, 2009

Writers Blocks & Randomness...

I can always think of a thousand things to blog about until I sit down to post. Sometimes there is good reason for that, other times...not so much.

Excuse One-I really make an effort not to post when I am angry about something or at someone. That is prime time for saying things you don't mean and might regret later. So I give things time to cool down and then I usually either (A) forget what I was mad about or (B) let sleeping dogs lie and leave the subject alone. After all, this is a public blog and God only knows who is reading it, so I can't put people on blast because...well...they might be reading. In addition, if I have an issue with someone, it is usually better to either (A) write about them cryptically and make every nervous wondering if it is them I am speaking of or (B) go directly to the source. I find issue with few people and generally don't care if someone else finds issue with me, so this is rarely an issue.

Excuse Two- I sit down to post when I am bored about 60% of the time and when I am bored, I can't think which, in turn leads to writers block. It happens more often than I care to admit.

Moving on....let's see if I can scrounge up enough useless crap for a worthwhile blog entry.

Random Item #1- I made kick ass cupcakes last week. Butter Pecan with craisins and butter cream frosting.

My darling mother got me a giant cupcake pan last year for Christmas and I was dying to try it out. I had heard horror stories about frosting the top of it, but it really wasn't hard at all, just time consuming. It's not perfect, but for a first try, I don't think I did too bad.

Random Item #2- Aygestin is the devil. I repeat. Aygestin is the devil. There is no doubt in my mind that Satan himself created this drug. While it did drastically reduce the cyst (God helped with that part), it was like being on an emotional roller coaster. Fine one minute, skipping through fields of butterflies, farting daisy's. The next, sobbing over the inability to find a matching pair of socks. It was insane. It makes some people meaner than snakes, others really depressed. It made me a sobbing mess (with a touch of mean). But, as the RE said, he (jokingly) puts people on it to test their marriage. B

Another charming part of Aygestin (TMI to follow), it makes your period brutal. BRUTAL. The bleeding is fairly normal, but the cramping. Holy.Shit. After my D&C, they gave me Pitocin to make my ute contract and expel anything that was left. I thought those cramps were bad. Haha...those were child's play. These cramps will knock the wind out of you, force you to your knees and beg to die. Ahhhh, isn't PCOS fun?

Random Item #3- My RE always tries to go the cheaper route as far as IF treatments because insurance companies don't seem to like IF patients and want to make their lives very expensive. Luckily, our insurance company is awesome and pays pretty much everything except IVF. So we are responsible for our copay ($35) and Rx's (Metformin is $4, Clomid is $9, Aygestin and Provera were $4 and my Progesterone supps were $20 for a 20 day supply) and that is about it. We had to pay $7 for Ben's SA (at an out of network Dr (our RE) and they were free at our "home hospital"), $26 for my US's at the RE's office (again, out of network, but they are free if they are done at our "home hospital") and that's it...Awesome, right?

Ah, but there is a downside. As I have said, we are trying an injectible hormone this cycle (HcG). There are two versions available: a subq version, Ovidrel, that goes right beside your belly button, under the skin (aka: the one I wanted) and an IM version, Pregnyl, that goes deeeep into your muscle with a long, sharp needle (aka: the one I didn't want). The Ovidrel is almost $100, I think Freedom quoted me $96.25. The Pregnyl, on the other hand, is about 1/2 that. So which version do they guessed it, the Pregnyl. Ow. My poor thigh is hurting already. Cheap RE, always trying to save me money. ::giggle:: Thank GOD my MIL is going to do the shot for me. Yes, Ben does work in the medical field, but he would rather me be mad at my MIL than him if it hurts.

And for the record, I won't be mad at anyone. I can almost feel the phone lines to my MIL's house light up now with gossip. I'm not mad at anyone about this, I don't want this but it is what we have to do. I should get used to it. Assuming this cycle doesn't work, we will likely be on to Follistim (an injection that works somewhat like Clomid does) in addition to the HcG trigger. I think the Follistim is 5 injections, so I just need to suck it up, get over the whole needle phobia and pray like mad that this cycle works.

Random Item #4- Funny Story: I walked into our bedroom to empty the trash and found (are you ready?) a condom wrapper.
(Keep in mind, I was still on the crazy pill-I mean, Aygestin, when I found this.)
We don't use condoms. Hello! We are trying to have a baby!
I felt my hands go numb (looking back, this was likely a side effect of the devil pill), my face get hot and rage boil throughout my entire body. What.The.Hell. Who had been at my house, with my husband, in our bed?
Just as I turned to go and find my super sharp, Wolfgang Puck killer knives to castrate my husband with (BTW, these are awesome knives! Ben's Aunt Johnna got them for us as a wedding gift and I have loved them ever since), I see my bra hanging from the ceiling fan.
"Hmmmmmmmmm....." I think to myself. "How did that get there?"
Oh yea.....we weren't allowed to get pregnant on the Aygestin (it can lead to hermaphrodite babies or something crazy like that). WE had been using the condoms. Silly girl.
Ben escaped unharmed, with all his genitalia intact.
(PS-the next time we saw my RE he said "Good job not getting pregnant!" and we died laughing. Some people have a really hard time not getting pregnant, we know of a few and found this comment highly hilarious. He also told us we laugh more than any couple he sees. If IF can't be funny, then it has to be sad. Funny is easier for us as long as we are making the jokes.)

Random Item #5- You would think I would have learned not to joke about Ben's genitalia by now, seeing as last time I joked about it on the Internet, it sparked a mini-family Holy War. Ahhh, the good ole' days. Looking back, the drama that ensued was twice as hilarious as the actual comment made regarding my darling husband's testicles. A good time was had by all. I hold no ill feelings, after all, it's not very Christian-like to hold a grudge. I hope this joke doesn't lead to won't likely because I think my mom and a few of my aunts are the only ones in our families who read this nonsense.

Random Item #6- I am going to meet my best online buddy, Rachel, in about 3.5 weeks and I am super thrilled. She "gets" me and what going through IF is like better than anyone I know IRL. We started TTC around the same time and are both starting/have started Clomid around the same time. She is irreplaceable to me as a friend and I can not wait to meet her. If only we could convince Brigid to come....It would be like a festival of IF girls.

For a post that was about writers block, this sure turned out long.

Happy Memorial Day to all our service men and women! You do a selfless job and don't get near the credit you deserve.
Happy Memorial Day to our Buddha! I have seen tons of rainbows lately! Keep sending them to me! They make our entire week!


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