Sunday, January 25, 2009

What Nobody Told Me...

This is long, but it's a really good read. Regardless as to who you are, this puts TTC/Pregnancy in perspective and may give you an insight to someone's life and daily roller coaster of emotions.

What Nobody Told Me About Trying to Conceive
-That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy. (duh!)
-That my sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
-That the longer I try to conceive, the more pregnant women spring up around me.
-That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.
-That one day I wouldn't mind checking my cervical fluid or cervix position to see if it is my fertile period. (no more)
-That I should have gone to medical school like my mom wanted, because I've had to do so much medical research up to now just to figure out what was wrong with me, and now I might as well be an M.D.
-That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.
-That living my life in 2 week increments would be the normal thing to do.
-That I never knew how much I wanted to see those 2 pink lines...until only one shows up every month.
-That simply relaxing will NOT get me pregnant. The husband has to do some work too! (don't you hate it when people tell you that!?)
-That I have no control over some of the goals I set...
-That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at my BBT chart doesn't make it change!
-That one day my husband would know so much about how my uterus functions and what it looks like from the inside.
-That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.
-That miscarriage is so common.
-That I would wish we had started trying to conceive earlier.
-That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.
-That it wouldn't happen the first time I didn't use birth control like I was led to believe in school.
-That I wouldn't know how important a baby was to me until it took so long, and I realized what I was willing to go through to make it happen.
-That family would act like getting pregnant was a competition between all the young couples in the family, and the first one to get pregnant "wins".
-That my husband is the most wonderful and caring man!
-That it is insensitive to ask people when they are going to try having a baby! They might be trying and having difficulties just like me!
-That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!
-That I could have been rich by saving the money I spent on condoms/birth control pills, which were obviously unnecessary.
-That I would be happy to see abundant cervical fluid and tell my husband about it.
-That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.
-That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in Florida by now.
-That having my period show up would make me cry, no matter whose bathroom I was in.
-That it does not get easier ... each cycle is harder than the last.
-That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.
**-That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to trying to conceive.**
-That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart an home pregnancy test in the hopes that there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.
-That talking about sex with fellow women who are trying to conceive would be so easy.
-That one day all of this will make me stronger. (it already has, hasn't it?)
-That I would have NO TOLERANCE for pregnant women's complaints about morning sickness, weight gain, etc...
-That no one I know would have any understanding as to how I feel.
-That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.
-That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.
-That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pregnancies, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pregnancies.
-That someone I thought to be my best friend would hurt me by saying that she was sick of hearing about my efforts at trying to conceive.
-That some people just say the wrong things.
-That I would be so sad and ashamed.
-That when my period shows up I would feel broken and dysfunctional.
-That my friendship with my real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.
-That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things I will ever have to go through.
-That I HAVE to have sex even though I don't feel like it, but because my fertility monitor says HIGH or PEAK.
-That people would pity me and feel sorry for me.
**-That I would meet such a wonderful group of people online, that I can share my sorrow, frustration and fears with. **
-That I would feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".
-That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so badly.

Meg, Rachel, Bridgit, Rachi, Nerdy, Danse, Amanda, Sulfa and all the other great women I have met along our journey to get pregnant, through our miscarriage and back on the TTC train again- you each mean something so special to me. I want you all to get BFP's just as bad as I want one for myself. You know more about my life than most of my "real life" friends do. You have all celebrated with me at my highest points and lifted me from the lowest lows and for that I am forever grateful.


aLLieBooBeRZ said...

wow! That definitely hits home for me too!

*Amy Leigh* said...

I too get sick of people that got KU on the first try telling me how easy it is and how if I just relax it will happen...riiiiiiiiight. I want to look at them and say, right, relax! The missing piece! That's what I haven't been doing!!! Thank you SO much for your AWESOME fertility instructions!

But then I realize that I am being hateful, so I just say, thanks, I'm trying!!!

Hang in there babe, good luck with this cycle!

Danse said...


You are too sweet. That list hits so close to home for way too many of us. I'm wishing nothing but the best for you.

Mrs.G said...

:) I love you!

sulfababy said...

*hugs* That made me cry! :) Your friendship means so, so much to me. You are such a beautiful, courageous, and strong woman.

AmandaHoyt said...

Great post that I wish you didn't have to write, friend. I hope you get a BFP this next cycle. I am always here for you if you need anything.
Hugs and prayers,

Gossamer Wings said...