Friday, March 13, 2009

A Pair of Shoes

I have had several friends miscarry recently. It is so heart breaking. When they grieve, I grieve for them and grieve for myself all over again. It is so, so unfair and there is nothing I can say to fix it for them. Pregnancy/infant loss sucks and should be banned forever-wouldn't that be nice?

So anyway, here is a poem I got from a friend of mine and it really is so true and really put how I have felt, especially recently, into words.

A Pair of Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
--Author unknown

I hope this helps those of you who are going through your darkest days. I really do mean it when I say it gets better and you will start to heal. I know you are in the worst of it right now, but it gets easier. Take your time in getting back to whatever normal will now be for you and your husband and don't allow others to tell you how you should feel right now. That was my biggest mistake and I wish I hadn't allowed those people to have control over me like that.

If you haven't been through pregnancy/infant loss, I hope this offers yet another insight into what so many people are living each day. I don't post things like this for sympathy or because I sit and mourn over our loss daily but because I want to educate people. This is such a taboo subject in our society despite being how common it is and it really shouldn't be.

So there you have it. My uplifting and inspiring post for the day. I really have so much more to say tonight but with it being after 1 AM and I have to get at least three hours of sleep before I chart in the morning AND I have to chart at 6 AM due to my weekday schedule, I really need to head to bed.

Hugs and Kisses to all.


Jaime O. said...

Thanks. =)

Anonymous said...

Hey Catie, just wanted to let you know I prayed for you this morning (around 10:15am). Like on the floor crying kind of praying. For that peace that transcends understanding, that goes past the hurt and the anger and the fear and everything else, straight into your soul. I don't normally tell people when I pray for them, but for some reason, I thought it would be a good idea this time. Much love to you (and Ben and the dogs too!)