Friday, October 24, 2008

Just so you know...We made it!

I did not end up punching Ben in the face today. He deserved it today...but he escaped my wrath.

Lucky boy.

In other news, WE MADE IT! We hit our one year wedding anniversary on Monday! For those who said the first year was the hardest...eh...it wasn't that hard. We did live together for 5 months before the wedding (GASP!) so that did help; we were already used to the other one's quirks and habits by the time the wedding rolled around. But really, the first year was awesome. We traveled some (not as much as we wanted to, but still), bought our first home together, adopted (another) dog, laughed a lot, fought a little bit less than we laughed, went on dates, shared lazy Saturday's around the house, held hands, single handedly supported Starbucks (well...me more than him), watched a billion movies, had screaming chases through the house (usually ending with me getting tackled), painted and decorated the house, shared sweet private moments, public not so sweet moments, had our highest highs and our lowest lows. But it was awesome.

I love Ben more than I ever thought I could love someone. I trust him more than I ever thought possible. When I am tired, having a rough day, sick, bitchy, being a pain in the hind end or rockin some serious bed head he still loves me. He compliments me. We fit together. We match. We just work. We don't make sense together but we work. I love him to the end. Even when he leaves his socks under the recliner, Diet Coke cans all over the den and hair in the sink. I love him. He drives me absolutely insane, but I can't imagine loving him any more than I do right now. Funny thing is, I said that last year at our wedding and in a years time, my love for him has multipled by millions.

Our marriage is not perfect by any stretch, but we never put on that it is- and that's what gets me. It shocks people when we admit that we are not perfect in many ways. Heads spin, Exorcist style. The fact that it shocks them, shocks me. No marriage is perfect. If it is, someone isn't being honest. Marriage is hard, it takes work and patience and honesty and trust and love and commitment and compassion and understanding and forgiveness.

We know a couple and all we ever hear is "Oh, they are so happy." "Oh they never fight." "Oh ____ treats _____ like royalty." "Their marriage is perfect."

Really? People buy that when they say it? Methinks someone isn't being honest. Methinks it's easier to say "Oh we are so happy, everything is perfect." than it is to say "Ya know, we are having a rough time." or "Marriage is harder than I thought it would be." It's easier to push it under the rug than it is to be honest. There is NO shame in saying marriage is hard. It is. Life it hard. But is it so hard that I don't think the difficult times are worth it? No, not by a long shot.

My grandparents have been married for.....well....a long time. (Help me out here mom, 65 years?) When I call her and rant and rave about how Ben is driving me nuts and how crazy he makes me, she just sits there and laughs. Then she always says "Isn't it wonderful!?" And she's right. It is wonderful and I wouldn't have it any other way. My grandad did the same things to her that Ben does to me. My dad did the same things to my mom that Ben does to me. But, as I said, my grandparents have been married to each other for ~65 years. My parents are going to be hitting their 30th(!) wedding anniversary this coming January. Obviously, something about this crazy system works. When I do call my Ma or my mom, they have no sympathy or pity. They have been there, so they just laugh. I do, too.

Marriage is a challenge, but I love every minute of it. Even the not so great ones.

Ben- I love you to the moon and back and to the moon again. I couldn't have asked for a better person to spend my life with and I can't imagine a day without you. I can't wait to see what the next year, five years, ten years, FIFTY years holds for us.

I love being on this adventure with only you.

2 comments:

Andrea said...

Happy late Anniversary!

sulfababy said...

This is so beautiful and eloquent. May God grant you many happy years together! :)